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Summary of Question:	I Am Pregnant And My Husband Is Cheating On Me
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 8/06/2003 9:34 AM MDT

I really at the end of my tether, I have found out my husband has being of lots of sexual affairs since we have been married for four years. Presently I am 8 and half months pregnant and just fopund all this out via his email. He is also intending to go America with work and have sex with another two weeks after the baby is born. I do jap ji sahib and rerahs and I know I should do more but I feel I don't have the strenght to do it.

I don't know whether to confront him now or after the baby is born- as I have no one to look after me after the birth- I am quite isolated where I live.
I can't see how a marriage can work when there is no trust, but I don't want to be a single mum.
My husband dose not know that I know all this information. I can't sleep at night and I am starting to get very tired. I just feel he is heartless. Please can you advise.

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REPLY
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Sat SIri Akaal. My heart goes out to you. It seems you are stuck between a rock & a hard place. You have to look seriously at all your choices and pray for guidance. Stay in the marriage (if this is your first born it might settle him down)? leave? confront? I cannot tell you what to do, since I do not know enough of your scene there. It appears you have no where else to go. Is there no sister/girlfriend/auntie who can stay with you, or to whose house you can go for support? You need support. DOn't judge yourself on your Sikh practice now. Do your best to take care of yourself. Find someone you can talk to. If you are in the USA or Canada or UK, do some websurfing to see what kinds of free phone counseling is available. Someone should be able to direct you, some kind of social service agency. Or call a counselor in your area and ask for crisis referrals. Your doctor should also be able to advise.
You cannot be expected to be in an unhappy marriage for the sake of appearance. Maybe you should confront your husband. Maybe if he knows you know then he'll stop. Please pray daily to Guru for guidance and strength because it is not good for you or your baby to be in such an unhappy situation. If he is so unhappy in the marriage then the whole thing was a bad idea. (Or is he the type to play around no matter what?) Do not confront him if you fear his temper, however. You may have to consider single-motherhood, because from what you say, he does not seem to be a very responsible person.
Guru has presented you with a situation that can be resolved, though perhaps not the way you think it should be. Pray for guidance and get support. Guru ang sang,
-DKK