Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Please Save My Marriage
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Saturday, 12/10/2005 9:42 AM MST

My husband and I always argue. Yesterday we argued about getting a baby, I'm 33 now and I cant wait any longer to get a baby. We are married for 3 years. I also suggested him to go and see a gynae for check up. He refused. He gave me a reason that its costly. I know he loves children very much. We also argued about some other stuff. I asked him why am I treated diffrently from his family, brother-sisters, relatives and friends.In the gurdwara, when eating time I would take the food and sit next to him, guess what ??... He doesnt really like that. But he will be very proud if some other girl sit next to him. When I make jokes with him, he never laugh and opposite with others. My husband is very strict in religion issue and never missed his Nitnem. Always against people who eat meat and have their hair cut. Surprisingly yesterday when we were arguing, he was so mad and took a sisscor and cut his own hair. I am very very upset with his action. We are both Amritdharis. I just can't stop blamming myself for his action. I wonder if god will ever forgive me ! Now I feel like going back to my parents house in Singapore and dont feel like living here (California) with him anymore. I think his action is telling me how much he hates me. At times he is caring, but most of the time he refused to understand me. He is a good listener and advise giver to “sangats” and why cant he solve his own problems calmy? Please tell me what should I do? Is there any Paath that can save my relationship? I love my hubby so much and I have no intention to leave him. All I'm asking from him is some attention and love. My hubby is very sturbborn person.

---reply

You are not responsible for your husband's irrational behavior. Have you discussed having children in general. Does he want them? Are you trying? What did you mean by saying you argued about "getting" a child. Do you mean getting pregnant? Would your husband be willing to go to an elder in your community or a counselor and discussing your disagreements? I suggest that you chant the Shabd "Dhan Dhan," asking Guru Ram Das to help you in your marriage. But you have to do something to improve your communication with him. Let us know how it goes. GTKK