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Summary of Question:	Must I Take Amrit Just Because My Spouse Does?
Category:	Sikh Practices
Date Posted:	Sunday, 10/07/2001 10:45 AM MDT

hi there

well i am married 2 a guy who wants to take amrit.
my problem is that i eat meat
i hardly go to the temple
once in 6 months
my hubbie told me that if he takes amrit the spouse has to do so
is it true?
what if u r not willing and ready for it?
is it right to take it? please help
from p

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REPLY
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Dear P:
Sat Siri Akaal. There are many who believe that if a spouse takes Amrit then the other spouse must also be Amritdhari. This is akin to forcing someone to take Amrit before they are ready and willing to do so. Sikhs do not FORCE anyone to do anything. When we fight, we fight AGAINST oppression. Forcing ANYONE to take Amrit because someone (not GURU) says both spouses HAVE to be Amritdhari is a form of oppression. It is against Guru's teachings to use psychological force for such things. While it might be IDEAL to have both spouses Amritdhari, it is not always possible. I believe that SGPC has codified your husband's remark (above) but I frankly do not always agree with SGPC, for the reason I just stated.

You see, while being Amritdhari is a very special thing for ANY Sikh, Guruji did not want us to lord this specialness over anyone. Rather, he wanted us to use the Amritdhari status as an EXAMPLE to others, not a sword hanging over one's head to comply or pay some kind of dire consequences. This is why I do not think that Amritdhari spouses can ONLY be with other baptized Sikhs.

I encourage your husband to take Amrit and encourage you to support that anyway you can. This might include cooking for yourself and for him separately, in the case of meat. But if you have no interest in Amrit and/or do not consider yourself ready, his choice in taking Amrit should not force you to do so as well just because you are married.

Guru rakha,
-DKK