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Summary of Question:	Re To: Pls Help Before I Do A Mistake Posted 04/24/2007
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 4/25/2007 4:47 AM MDT

Re to: Pls Help Before I Do A Mistake posted 04/24/2007

I would like to say to the (lady) who posted the following question:
EXCELLANT ADDITIONAL INFORMATION FOR YOU!!!!

Satsriakal Veer Ji
Please help before I do a biggest mistake in my life. I am married. It’s been 4 years now. I’m 34 and he is 40. The problem is that since I got married, I’ve never enjoyed my sex life at all. My husband never kisses my lips, never hug me. All he does is, do his stuff and sleep. I always end up crying and masturbate. I hate doing that. I know it’s disgusting. I have no choice; otherwise I will not be able to sleep. I do everything for him from head to toe. To satisfy him and keep him happy. He likes it so much. But he never does such thing for me. I’ve talked to my husband many times about it. I told him I need more than that. I even warned him that if he doesn’t change then I might look for other man to satisfy me. He got mad at me. Now I came back to my home town to visit my family. I called my ex-boyfriend and we both have decided to have sex. My ex-boyfriend is also married. I know we can keep each others secret. But at the same time I feel guilty if I have affair with my ex-boyfriend. If can I do not want to betray my husband. I really don’t know if I should proceed. I wonder if god will ever forgive me. Please help me. What am I suppose to do. I know my husband is not going to change. I get jealous when my girlfriends share their sex life with me. I’m not copying my friends but it is my DESIRE. I want it. Sometimes I prefer to masturbate than having sex with my husband. Because when I masturbate I reach the organism and feel good. Please help…
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reply
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Dear one,
You will regret doing anything outside of your marriage. You have a high nature and must solve this situation with grace.

Please go in to counseling with some one who you can relax and talk about your problems. I would also recommend that you get some books for your husband to educate him on how to satisfy your wife sexually, and leave them lying around for him to discover.
I believe that he is too shy to ask for help, and would be better guided by him thinking he is discovering the info on his own.
Blessings,
skkk


I would like to add:
Do NOT go with another person no matter who they are - have some respect for yourself and be a lady. The advice the moderator has given is very good. If you are not being satisfied and your husband makes zero effort to even try then you stop trying to satisfy him all the time. He will soon wake up and make effort.
But like I said do not ever think let alone go with another person you will only be insulting yourself. Never lower yourself. Do you really want a regret on your head for the rest of your life and for your soul to be tarnished with bad karma?. How would you feel if your husband went off with another woman and the secret somehow got out. Would it not hurt you of course it would hurt any one. There are extracts you can recite / parths that help women with their marriage.
Meditating together, chanting God's name together, reading banis together are recommended. Guru Nanak told the women who came to him complaining about their husbands to "Recite the SOPURKH section of Rehiras." Do this 11 times a day for 40 days and pray for the ideal relationship between you and your husband and see what happens.

To go and sleep with another when married is absolutely disgraceful - please do not follow the ways of some in society who couldn't careless about respecting themselves or their family's.
Remember back to the lavan (marriage ceremony where you stood before Guru Granth Sahib Ji and the promise you made to Guru Ji!
Quite frankly the boyfriend who is also wanting to sleep with you and is already married is a disgrace and is insulting himself. Think how his wife would feel. Do you want to be a double marriage wrecker (yours and his)?
You say yourself 'Please help before I do a biggest mistake in my life'.
You will remain a lady by acting like one.
One last thing delete the number of your ex boyfriend. You do not need it and neither does he need yours!
Remember Wai Guru is always watching and our actions create our karma.
God Bless