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Summary of Question:	Re: Wanna Move Forward
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 3/31/2004 5:13 PM MDT

This is for the person who has been through so much.Hi dear person, I know sikhi does not beleive in all the Toona stuff (that play with your soul &/or mind) but in India there is a lot. I beleive she did this so you can be under her daughter's control or die (whichever came first - probably die as she was having an affair). You are lucky you got saved. Usually in India they do so the husband becomes henpecked and is against his parents and does all that wife says and she is the ruler.I went to India lately and found my brother in that form, he loves all of us but will not hear anything or let anyone criticise his wife no matter what she does or doesn't do. So, this is life and the world that we live in.

Anyway, if you do not trust any female (and I do not blame you), like hte moderator said - leave it on God and try to get your life together.An hydraulic Engineer like you should be able to find good job enough to take care of yourself. If cooking is your problem, there are so many good cook books and websites to get recipes. IF you want to marry for family or society - it is the wrong reason. If you want to marry to have a nice life partner then let God show you the way and bring the right person.
1. I know this guy - I have known him since childhood.He is an engineer too and never married. Goes to work,travels and cooks for himself. Sometimes he cleans himself and now he can afford cleaning service. He is happy, he says he does not have to come home at a cetain time as someone is waiting or expecting him home. All his siblings are married and have kids so he visits them and enjoys time with his nieces and nephews.So, ther are people out there and he is a sikh - a nice intelligent guy.
2. I know this one guy - he has been alone for years. He was married and his wife and him got divorced. He also cooks excellent and enjoys life. Now, in his 50's he got married to a lovely lady (who had kids and her kids are all grown and gone and is a widow). He was introduced to her by her good caring friends whom he knew for years. They both do lots of path, take walks, travel and do things. They have each other for old age partnership and it is so nice to see them being like liovebirds - it is just adoreable. All this just happened to him in months.
So, do not worry about marriage for now is what I suggest (if you can move away to different town or even country) and start your life one day at a time keeping Waheguru in your thoughts every step of the way. Thank God you did not have kids from that lady, you do not have to see her or deal with her. Take that as a blessing from Waheguru and remember BE POSITIVE NO MATTER WHAT.Find positive in negative and when something wrong happens think - TERA BHANA MEETHA LAGAE, and deal with it. For every bad there is good waiting and I have experienced it all my life and that is what keeps be out of worry fast and calms my nerves fast when I leave it on God.
I wish you were in front of me as a big sister give you a BIG hug and say - you will be fine just take care. Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.
(read lots of books regarding how to be positive and if you can afford take counselling to get your self confidence back).

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Thank you for your contribution and advise. GTKK