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Summary of Question:	Proving To My Bf That God Exists?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 7/17/2002 1:39 PM MDT

WJKK WJKF....

First and foremost..my sincere thanks to all the people that take their time out and answer the many questions generated on this forum. You are not only helping many youth with their issues, questions, and insecurities...but you are helping MANY people learn more about sikhi, from many different prespectives. I have read through many questions/answers on this forum and each and everytime..ihave found nothing but the most patient, intelligent, and insightful responses. A large thanks from the bottom of my heart.

My question is actually very silly and in a sense i feel immature asking it...but i will, because i have grown to value very highly many of the responses you have given me and many other people in my position.

I am involved in a relationship/close friendship with a sikh male...he is a good person...but has had many problems in his life..basically the fact is that he hasnt had a very normal childhood or a very constant family life.
I dont come from a very religious family...but i personally hold sikhi and my relationship/respect with waheguru, very HIGH in my life. I know for a fact, without my faith in sikhi, and my faith in waheguru...i would never have gotten anywhere in life. Even to this day...i continue to struggle in many different ways..but the only thing that keeps me going is god's word, his shabad and his true guidance and support in my life.
This guy that i am very close with....is not religious or spiritual at all...i feel like a bad person because i get a feeling that he thinks i am tryin to "preach" to him or tell him differently. All our talks on religion, spirituality..the concept of god..always end in him asking me for "proof" that god exists....and to tell you the truth..as much as i try to paath and follow gurbani....i dont know how to "show " him, that "god exists".
I told him..it is that feeling in your soul...god exists inside all of us...and his light prevades us all..but it is generally up to us, as humans to realize his divine will in our lives and realize that he is truly closer then our own hands and feet.
When i say these things..he says i am not being "scientific" ...that things like this aren't proven....even though he has says these things...i still pray to almighty that he will one day get that feeling inside to motivate him to learn ..atleast just learn more about sikhi and understand that it is not as bad as he "thinks."
I am not asking him to jump up the next morning and take amrit...i myself have a very very long way to go..before i can ever do such a great deed...i am just a servant of god..trying to be a better person..

I really dont know how to approach this guy? I feel strongly about him....but am slowly starting to get very very irritated with our friendship/relationship. I ask myself that all the faith i have placed in my life..has been on god and on sikhi....one day in the future how can i fathom starting my life with a person that has no faith and has no beliefs or is aware of any concept of sikhi?

Am i wrong in thinking this? On the same page..i feel that maybe it is my job (atleast for a time being..if not for the rest of my life) to introduce him to sikhi and maybe just guide him. I realize his life hasnt been easy and he has never grasped god for any support...he always talks about "self confidence...and self reliance"....im sure in his own way....this may be what i call "god"...but i just wish i could tell him how wonderful it feels to surrender to almighty and put your self completely at his feet....

I feel like a bad person..because slowly slowly i am loosing faith in this person and i am loosing faith in our friendship..i realize that not every "soul" has the same process of growth and maturity..and maybe this person in my life has been put here ....so i can atleast help him...

Am i wrong in assuming this? I am trying to pray for him....so that atleast he can be happy in his life..no matter what it takes...i just pray for the best in his life.
Is there any paath i can do on his behalf? Is there any particular pauree that i can concentrate on,to maybe remove my own ignorance?

Sorry about this question being so long and detailed...maybe i already have the answer to my question...but cant seem to understand it.
Thanks for your help and thanks for listening.
What do you think ? Is it a problem in my own mentality or is it just not a good idea to combine to sets of beliefs?
With love and respect..
Thanks for your time.

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REPLY
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Sat Siri Akaal, Dear One:

Your concerns are NOT silly! One of the most important things in any love relationship and certainly marriage, is that the 2 people involved feel that their GREATEST needs are met. For example: I am unmarried, but without question ANY man I would marry would have to be Sikh and Khalsa first; these things are important to me and I don't even want to consider someone who does not hold these things important. Whether or not a prospective mate cleans up after himself in the kitchen matters far less than his relationship to Sikhi and Guru. See what I mean?

So, first you ask yourself what is the most important thing you look for in a mate/husband? (Your answer is your own, not mine!). It may be a solid career, or a desire for children! It SOUNDS like it is a belief in Guru for you.

NO ONE can make someone a Sikh or any other faith. Your friend has decided that God's existence can only be proved scientifically. It is his way of avoiding the issue entirely. As if the laws of the universe and Einstein's great formula aren't enough! (BTW, in the 2nd pauri of Japji Sahib, the word 'hukum' is translated as Divine Order or Command. But it also refers to the laws of the universe that govern all matter and form! I'm not going to into this here, but Guru Nanak understood 'hukum' at many levels.)

My dear, GOD is first and foremost an experience, not a scientific theory. Your friend has chosen to engage in mental arguments and semantics, and the simple answer to him is not SCIENCE, it is experience. Moreover, who can explain FAITH scientifically? No one can. It is felt and experienced, and there is no good way to 'measure' that scientifically. DO NOT buy into his false arguments. The experience of God is within; this is said again and again in Siri Guru Granth Sahib. Open any page and read it (in English or punjabi or Gurmukhi, whatever you understand) and you will see this said in Gurbani. So you cannot ARGUE with him since you cannot prove God's existence to his mind.

Finally, it is not your job to convert him or introduce him to Sikhi. Actually, you have by your relationship and debates. If he wants to know what matters to you, offer him an experience of the Naam; sit and chant the Naam in a gurdwara or sacred space, and chant for AT LEAST 30 minutes. Then ask him how he feels afterward. That pleasant peaceful space that comes from repeating the Naam is an experience of the Waheguru, for Waheguru is known through SHABD Guru; this is what our 10 Gurus taught us. But he is NOT your responsibility in Sikhi. The best things you could do for him as far as his faith goes is (1) pray for him and (2) set an example by your own spiritual practice.

Frankly, if sharing Sikhi is important to you and he doesn't think so, it sounds like this relationship is not your highest truth, or his. Guru rakha,
-DKK