Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	My Parents Always Fight And It's Killing Me Inside
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Thursday, 8/22/2002 8:52 PM MDT

Hi and Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ke Fateh.

I LOVE THIS SITE!!!!!! God bless you for making this site to imfrom sikh's all around the world about topic that make our parents turn away or blush such as dating and etc. I find great comfort just by reading your advice and it makes such sense and you dont scold people for there faults and sins.

I have a problem. Evry since i can really remember my parents have been fighting like crows. I am a 13 year old girl whom is non-Amritari. I do "used to" do Japi Ji Sahib and Rerhas every day. I am an only child so it really hard for me when they fight. It's in the car, at home, at the store, like almost any where they get in to verbal fights about anything. Some times my mom ends up crying or leaving the house for a few hours. She walks in front of Guru ji's pictures and tell them sh wants to die. and how shes fed up with her life and God gave her a misrable life. This bring me to tears. Tears are streaming down my face right now. I sometimes just want to die. I stopped doing paat, because i thought God dooest love me anymore. I always used to do paat, i learned i, unlike people with good lives, wo are rich and have not much to worry about i go to the gurudawara every Sunday. I do sewa when i have the time. But i hate going now. I cry infront of Guru Granth Shahib and just ask him why, how come i have to suffer, i try so hard to please you, i try to be good, its hard living in western society. I always ask him to give me a sign, or anything to show me that he cares. Nothing. I just want my paretns to be happy. The best thing would be if they divorced. but i noe thats not really permittted in sikhism i guess...they both do paat every day. and they dont drink or eat meat. my mum was amritari but took it off b4 she got married. i guess htat why god makes thing so hard for her. and my dad cuts his braed like every week and tells me not to cut my hair. you see, i am a lost Sikh girl. I really hope you can help me. Give me some advice or anything to make me cheer up about my misrable life.
Thank you for taking the time to care,
i hope God blesses you for the rest of your life.
Sat shi Akal

* * * * * *
REPLY
* * * * * *

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa
Waheguru Ji ke Fateh!

Reading your message, I can feel the pain in your heart. I can feel how much you want your parents to be happy. The truth of the matter is that even though you feel powerless and you feel depressed, you are not powerless. You can create a great change in your life.

Sometimes the child must be the adult. Sometimes the daughter becomes the parent to the parents.

What I mean is that YOU have to set the example, and you have to decide that you are not a victim. You can decide to be miserable, or you can decide to give yourself to your Guru. It is YOUR choice.

When you wake up each morning, roll over on to your back and lightly run your fingers over your face and bless yourself. Say aloud - "Ad Guray Namay, Jugad Guray Namay, Sat Guray Namay" and feel that Guruji is blessing you. Open your heart and give thanks for your pranas for the new day and that you are alive and that you can serve our Guru. Do Japji paath EVERY morning. If you do not understand the meaning of Japji Sahib, download and print out the translation here on SikhNet. You can do your Japji paath in Gurmukhi six days and in English one day. Do not stop. Make it a priority! Do not let your parents' drama throw you off course. Sometimes parents use emotions to manipulate. Keep centered and be steady. When you go to the Gurdwara, bow with love and consciously give your pain to Guruji and do not hold it. Let it go. Don't ask for anything, just let it go and let Guruji take care of it.

Many blessings to you, dear one. It is time to change the direction of your life.

.....G