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Summary of Question:	Forgiveness ??
Category:	Meditation
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 11/24/2004 2:09 PM MST

Hi I was interested in knowing your views on forgivness. I find hard it not to forgive someone i like even if they do something really bad to me, do you think thats not good. Recently, i thought of someone as my friend and she kind of did something bad i didnt think she could do with me considering how well i treated her and how well she spoke to me. I was very angry and hurt for around 15 days then i started feeling sick myself, like getting depressed thinking about the whole scenario, ending up sleeping after eating depression pills, then at the end i decided to forgive what she did with me, leave how she behaved with me upon god, and talk to her nicely not saying that i will continue with her, but end it nicely and explain all this to her, and i asked her nicely not to try to be in touch with me again, As i lost trust on her and can not afford to be treated the way i got treated again ever. This did give me a good sleep, but even now when i deeply think of that time, my soul starts shivering.

Do you feel i did fine or should i have never spoken to her after she betrayed my trust. What would guru ji say about this ??? I did look at this religious wisely, i said to myself that if 60% was her fault, 40% was mine 2 somewhere, and if i want my fault/sin to be forgiven from GOD i will have to forgive her. Am i correct in anlaysing a sin that someone you trust does towards you ???
Thanks.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. As human beings, we make mistakes. Sometimes we do things that betray trust. That is certainly wrong, but if someone betrays your trust,when we don't forgive them, we carry resentment and anger inside our own being, and it's painful, it's like poison. So, it is desirable to forgive others -- which doesn't mean that you let them hurt you again! Only that you let go of the anger and resentment, and get on with your life. It is also important to forgive ourselves if we do something wrong, and make every effort not to make the same mistakes a second time! Does that make sense? What I'm trying to say is that you have a right to avoid associating with someone who hurts you, who does not honor your grace, but that does not mean that you hate them or have to be angry with them. We want to love everyone - impersonally-- but it can be done at a distance! Blessings, SP