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Summary of Question:	The Comment Regarding "Sikh Girls" Is Flawed
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 6/03/2003 10:26 PM MDT

I would like to make a comment on the following comment that someone posted:

"Hi,
This is more of a comment rather than a post, and I'm not really a youth (I'm 25), and I would post this as a discussion topic but I'm not a member. What I want to say is that sikh girls do not exist anymore, at least not in Western society (don't know about India, but I hear it is just as bad there). What do I mean? I'm nearing the age to get married and I've been talking to so-called "sikh" girls in the U.S. I have met many many "sikh" girls and have heard about even more of them. This is what I'm looking for in a Sikh girl: she must keep her hair and she must not drink alcohol. That's it. That is all I am looking for and after 1.5 years I have yet to find one. 95% of the girls don't even keep their hair, and yet they have the gall to call themselves sikh. What's even worse is that I know personally of so many girls who keep their hair and even do kirtan at the gurdwara, but on Friday nights you'll see these girls on the dance floor, drunk, and "freakin" with random guys. Is this what sikh girls are now? If that's so, then I much rather marry a white christian girl who at least has good family values and doesn't drink. You wanna know the kicker? Someone I know was drunk and on the dance floor with random guys 1 WEEK BEFORE HER WEDDING to a sardar guy. What the h*** is that?"



Firstly, I would like to say that I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and there is no real definition of what is right or wrong since we are not omnipotent beings, we are merely human. After saying this, I shall comment on the above comment made about sikh girls. I am not in any way saying that this person is wrong, but I think that their argument may be flawed in many aspects. By flawed I mean that there is not sufficient evidence to back up this person's views.

This person says:

"What I want to say is that sikh girls do not exist anymore, at least not in Western society (don't know about India, but I hear it is just as bad there)."

This statement in itself is a total generalization of the "Western" population. How can one generalize about a population without having any data or evidence to back up his/her points?

Another question which I could not help but ask was, what is a sikh? What type of sikh is this person referring to? Is a sikh only a person who keeps their hair and does not practice any of the other teachings in sikhism? Is that how our gurus wanted us to percieve sikhs? Are we living the legacy that was built for us or are we creating our own definitions and rituals? - These are but a few questions which came up in my mind while I read this post.

Another aspect of this argument that really struck me was the fact that this person went totally against the basic fundamental teachings of Sikhism in itself. Let me elaborate: in Sikhism, we are meant to not judge others but judge only ourselves. We must gain realization that we are all human and we all have flaws, but in order to get over these flaws, we must focus on ourselves instead of pointing fingers at others. This is one of the hardest teachings to put into practice, but if one really wants to be a "True Sikh" then one must begin with this simple lesson: See the Faults of others, yet choose to unsee them. When a person attains this stage of realization, then one is no longer seperate from God him/herself. God is in us all, we must stop pointing fingers and start focusing on our own consciousness.

I know that I cannot change anyone's views and I am not trying to do that. All that I am trying to do is show that people must try to understand the basic teachings of gurubani and practice them before saying things to other people.

I hope that no one is offended by this message. Please forgive me in advance if I have offended anyone.

Suman.