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Summary of Question:	Friend
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 10/29/2002 8:16 PM MDT

Hi!!! i have a friend who is a gursikh and everything. I mean she sings shabads and does translations of the hukumnama. She is does speeches and is very active in the gurudwara. The only problem is that she does this all only because her parents are very strict and make her do it. She often says that she is going to cut her hair (which are very beautiful) when she's older. She says it won't really matter to her parents because her aunts and uncles have cut their hair too. I don't really believe this. I feel guilty whenever she talks about it and i just stand there saying nothing. I like i should be helping her see what's right from wrong. Do you think she'll learn how to respect her religion as she grows older???? What should i tell her to change her mind??

You all are doing such a great job on this website. Thanks for have this youth Q&A!!
Thankyou!!!

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Sat Siri Akal.

God bless you - you're a good friend. Tell her how beautiful her hair is. That will help. If she wants to rebel against her parents, though, it's a tough road ahead.

She has to see for herself what's right from wrong. The best way to support her is to see if, through your communication, you can help her make a connection with the Guru and the teachings that are genuine for her - that have an impact beyond "parents" and "family." What does it mean to be a Sikh? How will being a Sikh help her as she gets older? What are her true values? What matters to her? What's important in life? The Sikh path holds many answers to the problems that people face today. So - any way you can dialogue with her and get her to have her own, unique connection to the Guru - that's great.

People may be born into a Sikh family. But ultimately, we each have to make the choice, on our own, to give ourselves to the Guru. And that is the moment we truly become Sikhs.

Good luck and again God bless you for being such a good friend.

All love,

GPK