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Summary of Question:	Marrying Outside Sikhism...Another View
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Thursday, 3/25/2004 10:24 PM MDT

satnam waheguru,

To the person who wrote the original question, I like to ask/remind you: who were the original sikhs? Were they not hindus and muslims who conformed to a new lifestyle? Were they not people born into different "faiths" but married into different "faith"? How did this religion grow to today's numbers? Why must we be labeled "sikh" "hindu" "christian" etc..doesn't all this labeling only form boundaries? Wasn't Guru Nanak attempting to break human formed boundaries (caste sys. etc)? Wan't Guru Nanak preaching equality? Who are we to say that our son/daughter/friend/sis/bro should only marry into certain religion? Is a person's religion more important than the person's personality, person's morals, a person's approach to life? Are we being "Close minded" when we say lets just breed & Marry between our religion?
This is what i think, religion forms boundaries yet it helps most of us have direction to life. Many go to gurdwara, sit, eat langar, eat prasad, chit chat and go home. Those sikhs miss the lesson or hukamnama everytime they go. There are christians who go to church, listen, understand and work on everything thats said by their Lord. If i had to chose, i chose a christian who has an understanding of their "faith" rather than a sikh who only complies with formalities. Dear friend, you are not wrong, but i feel you are thinking in a box about the marriage issue. Are you married? What kind of a person would you like? A sikh who may never respect your parents or your (and their) religion? (NOT ALL SIKHS ARE THIS WAY) or some one who may be of different "faith" But respects yours, and theirs. I am not badmouthing sikhs, i used the above examples to get my point across. Lastly, i totally agree with both the moderators answers. Very well said!

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REPLY
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Sat Sri Akal,

Thank you for your comments. I agree that marrying a "sikh" just because that person goes through the motions of being a Sikh is not good. But then again, if such a person just went through the motions of being a Sikh, then I wouldn't call that person a Sikh at all (if he/she didn't even try to learn anything).

You bring up a good point in saying that an excellent compatibility factor in getting married is a "person's personality, person's morals, a person's approach to life". However, you miss the point by prepending that statement by saying that religion is not as important as these factors. Indeed, Sikhi defines a person's personality, morals and approach to life. If all I come to know about someone is that he or she is an excellent Sikh, then I will already know much about that person's personality, morals and approach to life without even having met him/her. Why? Because being a REAL Sikh dictates one's personality, morals and approach to life. That is why one can not differentiate Sikhi from other factors.

You say, "i chose a christian who has an understanding of their "faith" rather than a sikh who only complies with formalities". I would choose neither because neither are Sikh. A Christian's morals and approach to life is that one must accept Jesus to be saved. End of story. How is this compatible with my Sikhi way of life? It's not - in fact, it goes against pretty everything Sikhi stands for. So even if the Christian understands his faith completely, it's not compatible for a real Sikh. In fact, the most compatible person for a Sikh to marry would be another Sikh, NOT a Muslim, NOT a Christian, NOT a Jew, etc. Why? Because Sikhi dictates an approach to life and morals that are NOT compatible with the approach to life and morals of these other religions.

A sikh who does not respect her religion is not, by definition, a Sikh. Therefore a Sikh would not marry such a "sikh" in name only.

Thus, a Sikh will, and should, only marry a Sikh!

Gur Fateh,
HSD