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Summary of Question:	Need Advice
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Sunday, 5/25/2003 1:06 PM MDT

WJKK WJKF

I am 27, religious, have a faith in God. I know what is going on earth is controlled by Almighty and whatever will happen with me, is also decided by Waheguru, but still wanted to have an opinion for my problem.

I was married when I was 25. After 2 months, I came to know that my wife is suffering from severe disorder, the detail of which was never told to me before the marriage. I tried my best and waited for her to recover, but she got worse and due to unavoidable problem in my family due to all this, I felt being betrayed and decided to file the divorce case. All this happen in india, then due to work reason, I moved to US/Canada. I met a girl 10 months ago, she is also religious and strong believer in God like me. We like each other and decide to spend our lives together. But the problem is that she is scared to talk her parents about me, because I am already married and still not divorced. Moreover how her parents and society will react towards this situation. Also we are from different caste and my family and her family will also oppose it. I dunno what to do. I haven;t talk to my parent as yet, as wanted her parent opinion about me first. My case is still pending and will take some time and her parent is looking for the match for her, she is avoiding but could not avoid any more. We are running out of time. I think she is the right girl for me and so do she think towards.

Need your advice as to what to do?
WJKK WJKF

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So what if this new woman that you say you're in love with develops some illness, are you going to feel betrayed and dump her as well? Marriage is not just about the good times. Do you feel no affection, attachment, responsibility for your wife? Is someone taking care of her? Does she have enough money? It seems very irresponsible and immature of you, not just your parents and the girl's parents. If you truly believe that all is WaheGuru, then this is His doing as well. I'm not saying that you should necessarily remain married to your wife, but I would make sure that she is going to be taken care of. You are still a married man. You have no place running around with another woman. My advise to you is to gracefully, consciously, and kindly deal with the situation with your wife. Make sure she is going to be taken care of, maybe agree to help pay for her care, complete the divorce in a graceful way. In other words, complete this relationship in a mature and conscious way before you begin another one. You only creating more and more karma by acting in such a irresponsible way. I sure wouldn't want you as my husband. Perhaps the Guru is trying to give you values and character by putting you in this situation. Ask the Guru to guide you with some of His wisdom. GTKK