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Summary of Question:	Inferiority Complex About Being Different Than Others
Category:	Hair
Date Posted:	Monday, 5/14/2007 8:44 AM MDT

i'm a 21 yr. old sikh boy from delhi.i don't cut my hair but i'm not a amritdhari(i guess amritdhari means keeping all 5 k's which i don't)! now my beard is very curly(which i don't like) and my moustache is also very 'unmanageable'. and moreover,i don't tie my turban too well either,so all in all,after i tie my turban and mend my beard and moustache,i look very bad(atleast that's what i strongly think) and i feel inferior while i'm standing in a group with my friends(some hindus and some sikhs and few muslims as well)i hesitate so much talking to girls as well,i can't even look into their eyes while talking because i feel embarassed about how i look,i've never had a girlfriend and whenever i like any girl,i don't find confidence to initiate friendship with her because i get the feeling that i look different from majority of people(i mean hindus,muslims,christians etc.) and that's why she won't be interested in me! this has affected me soooo much that many times i feel like cutting my hair but i can't because of my inner-concious which tells me not to give up under peer pressure but more importantly because my parents will literally throw me out of the house if i cut my hair.i don't know what to do about this whole situation.it's not just about getting girls to like me,it's much more beyond that!

any advice will be highly appreciated,hoping for a prompt reply.....
waheguruji ka khalsa,waheguruji ki fateh
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reply
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My dear,
You are beautiful. handsome and radiant in the form of God and Guru Gobind Singh. You are in the form that you have been created.

First, you must have friends who are like you and can be supportive. All those cool kids at school are just kids. You are a cool kid in your own way and can be proud and happy too. Reach out to the Turbaned bearded Sikh students. If there are none at your school, then find them in the Gurdwara and in your family. Talk to them and share your experiences and tips on how to deal with challenges.

You need to find a special auntie or uncle that you can talk to and share your feelings. Generations have great wisdom and insight to share.

Being in the form of Guru Gobind Singh can also make you look so handsome and radiant and attractive. Do you think if you took off your turban and cut your hair that all your problems would be gone? Work on yourself.

Find someone with a fabulous turban and have them teach you how they tie it. Then, start exercising and working out daily so you can feel strong and healthy and confident. Find kids who are more sad than you and reach out to them in service.

In other words, find the way to lead yourself out of this complex mind and lead yourself and then you can lead others. Also, start reciting JAAP Sahib daily in the morning to build your pwoer over your very active negative mind.

Blessings,
SKKK