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Summary of Question:	Sex
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Sunday, 9/29/2002 9:47 AM MDT

hi, im sorry i didnt get a chance to look through the questions to see if someone had already answerd my question, so ill just ask and hope you email me back, im 18 and i have a girlfriend who i love very much, she loves me too, we're both Sikh and we both belive in god, we want to get married and we have much more faith in eathother than other couples at our age, i just wanted to know if its wrong to have sex with her even if i truely mean to make love and not use it, when i have sex with her, its fun and meaningfull, becuase i truely do love her and she loves me very much, is it wrong for us to have sex before marrage even if we both know we most certainly are one day gonna get married? although i know the rest is in Akalpurks hands, but it dosnt hurt to give it a chance, and if it is wrong for me to have sex with her even though i love her before marrage, is it wrong for me to have sex with her if we are engagged? this would really help me, email me back please, thank you.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. No matter how much you love each other, and how sure you are that you will be married "some day" -- our Sikh code of conduct tells us that we do not have sex outside of marriage. It's just that simple, sorry, I'm sure that's not the answer you would like, but unfortunately, that's the way it is. Sex in marriage has the blessing of the sacred commitment that you have made, and no matter what you think or feel otherwise, it's just not the same until and unless you've taken those vows in front of the Guru and with the Sadh Sangat to witness your lifelong commitment. (Being Engaged isn't being married, either!) When you are married, you will have a lifetime to enjoy and appreciate and love each other. Blessings, SP