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Summary of Question:	Re:Love Marriage
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 1/27/2003 3:36 PM MST

SSA jee, I don't have a question but comment on the question somebody else asked about on

Date Posted: Friday, 12/06/2002 1:21 AM MST, question love marriage.

I just have a suggestion.
First of all, I would like to let you know that I have also met my husband on sikhnet. It was also my parent's wish that I find somebody and let them know and then they will talk further. Before I met my husband, I have talked to few other guys too. Things didn't work out. It was occuring all under my parents shadow. I had arranged each guy to talk to my parents and meet me personally.
I spent about a year or so doing that. It was pretty frustrating at times.
But anyways, during all this process, I always knew that when its supposed to be happening, it will be smooth without any confusions. In all other cases there were some kind of confusions going on. I was willing to accept the fact that it will happen one day. And thats how it went. When I met my husband, things just went smoothly, both parties met each other including me and him. Talks over the phone went nicely and dates got fixed and we got married. Now, after 4 years, we have 2 year old son, and we live happily, love, care and respect each other and love our son too.

So what I am trying to say that sometimes we have to look at the bigger picture.
Life is not just what we see it today. We are talking about years to come.
Somethings, may seem to you pleasure today, but may change tomorrow.

What you want is relationship with least amount of friction. Its possible that this is the guy who is going to be your partner for rest of your life. But its also possible that you are love blind right now and don't see what your parents see.
I would suggest that you talk to some of your very close relative or friend, who you think is much mature than you and you may be able to rely on his/her decision.
Why am I saying this that sometimes our decisions are paralysed. We see only one side of the picture, and your parents are seeing the opposite sides of the picture. So this third person may help you to see all sides of the picture after meeting with this guy.
Yes, thats important.
And if this person is able to help you to decide, he/she may also help you to talk to your parents. Your parents will be able to here another person's views about it as now they may be thinking that you are love blind and don't know what you are doing.

When I am in this kind of situation, where I don't know what to ask from GOd and whats right to do.
I say God please help me to decide which way I should go. Please help things happen the way so that I can decide.
And you know what else has lot of power. ITs TIME. Give urself sometime.
Its possible that in few days or weeks, you may see the light.THings will start happening the way they should be.
For a while, give yourself break. DOn't think about it at all. Keep yourself busy with something else. E.g take some kind of course or join some activity, that will keep u busy and keep your mind off it.

Hope it helped.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. Thank you for sharing your experience and wise advice! Blessings. SP