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|Summary of Question:||I Have Bana But No Bani Plssss Help|
|Date Posted:||Wednesday, 10/06/2010 10:35 PM MDT|
First of all I would really like to spend a minute expressing how Sikhnet has changed my life. Sikhnet is an amazing source of inspiration. I thank all of you doing this amazing sewa in educating and connecting people to the higher truth. I'm lucky that I found this site 2 years ago. I love Sikhnet.
I always read Sikhnet Youth Forum and I have never wrote in, instead I always read other's questions and your answers to them and they were always inspiring and helpful but today I really wanted to write to you..and would like to hear from you soon.
I'm 19 and I've been married for just 8 months. I was a very happy bride and always did my path. Everyone said I looked beautiful in the bana. Now I feel ashamed that despite in bana I don't recite bani. It's just recently I can't get up on time I can't do path on time. I feel very frustrated when I can't maintain my amritvela. The days when I do my banis the whole day is great I feel eat and sleep happy compared to when I don;t. Whenever I listen to katha, or see people in bana doing their banis I feel ok tmr i'm gonna wake up early and do path. I'm always thinking of doing it but I can't make that change.
Something always haunts in my mind all the time, I hear this so many times in my head that "a sikh who does not do his nitnem is ruined, his life is a hell he can't be saved". I know what I am supposed to do but it's the question of making that change right away. What can I do to improve?? I trieddd but it's just my mind doesn't help me along.
I have a bad habit. I do path for 5 days then 3 days I won't. Then I do path for say 2 months then another month would be wasted in guilt. When will that day come into my life when I will do path on time my whole life. I seriously wanna improve. Everyone sees me in bana and just expects that I do my path but I don't. I feel very ashamed that I'm a hypocrite. That's the last thing I want to be. I want to be a good daughter of our guru ji..pls help
I will look forward for your reply.
you are beautiful and divine. Please keep up and be grateful for the days that you accomplish all that you wish. You are too hard on yourself with self judgement. Relax, rejoice. Make yourself humble before your Guru and God and give thanks for all the days you get Bani. God is that kind. Perhaps you can do small things like not eat dinner after 6pm and go to sleep by 9pm or 10 and make your waking up for Amrit Vela more do-able.
Blessings to you, SK