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Summary of Question:	Love before marriage?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Saturday, 4/22/2000 9:01 PM MDT

Sat Sri Akal,

I have two simple question.

1) To me i think that to become a true Sikh, a person shouldn't fall in love with some person whom you never intended to marry him or her.

Am i right in my upper opinion?



2) Never marry a person (him/her) who doesn't belong to our community or religion(interacical marriage)because it is the only way to live a peaceful and good life.


Sorry, if it hurts any person feelings.

Vicky Singh

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Reply:
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Dear Vicky Singh,

1. To be a true Sikh means to "see God in all". Better to love God and save the "falling in love" process for your spouse.

2.There is nothing that says that you have to marry only a Sikh. However, you are right that it will probably be more peaceful and supportive to marry in your community.

Guru Nanak said that we are all creations of the One Creator. Therefore in our way of life we have a tradition of hospitality, we have open langars and Gurdwara's where all people of all faiths are welcome to worship God. Guru Arjan Dev built the Golden Temple in Amritsar with 4 doors open to all directions to symbolise that it is open to all people everywhere.

You are right to want to maintain your values by associating with the people that practice the same values. This is supportive and helpful. At the same time,your Bana (tuban, beard,spiritual modest dress) and spiritual radiance is like a Nishan Sahib that people who see you who are not Sikhs can be uplifted and encouraged by your presence. This is Akal Murat...you are the undying picture of God when you live in God consciousness. So, you have importance to people outside your community as well.

People do intermarry and some have very successful marriages. Yet, it is correct that this does add a stress to the marriage that might not be there if they were of the same faith. This is a very personal matter.