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|Wednesday, 5/24/2006 5:09 PM MDT
There are goals i have set in my life and i can't even take a step in the right direction. I didn't get into graduate school. I am fat. I am mean to my brother. And I try to avoid my friends and people in general, all the time, due to my low self-esteem. I know that i am supposed to meditate and live like Guruka Singh explains in the videos, but i don't do any of it. I get charged up, after watching the video, and follow somethings the first day, but then i slowly forget to do paath, and meditation. I am in such a low state in my life that i feel awful, all the time. I cannot stand looking myself in the mirror, and i am just a huge example of what not to be. I understand that life is meant to be a big giant play, but i feel that my role is of one big giant fool, who is not going to amount to anything.
Sat nam. Everything you have described is a symptom of depression. Please seek medical help of some kind. Your whole life is ahead of you and you cannot see it for yourself.
Also your esteem is never going to increase unless you make an effort to be social. Get involved in seva or volunteer activities that take your mind OFF YOURSELF and let you serve others. Guru ang sang,