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Summary of Question:	Sikhism And Dating
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Saturday, 3/20/1999 2:45 AM MDT

O.k. I'm not sikh...i'm not anything...i like your religion...i agree with pretty much everything it has to say ...the situation i'm in now....i met this girl, she's sikh, she's 17...i'd really like to go out with her (that is to say if she'd want to go out with me), but i don't understand if she can date me or what...i'd say that right now i have a huge crush on her...but the more i get to know her the more i just appreciate her for her....(know what i mean??) but her parents won't let her date and i don't know what to do...do i have to ask her dad if i can see her....i'm not sure how religous she is but i think she respects her parents...i really like her...but i realize she might not be able to date me....if this is so...i'd really like to be her best friend...i just don't know how to go about doing this...any help would be great...thank you.... :)

** REPLY **

This is a difficult situation because it involves many different parties and many different views.

From my understanding, it is not against the sikh religion to date. Dating was not something that was commonplace when our religion got its start in India. I think her parents' views on dating come more from traditional cultural views held in India, where dating is not acceptable, and parents often find a suitable spouse for their children. Dating is especially taboo for young girls, probably because their reputation is very important in social standing and parents feel that it is important to retain a good reputation.

So from my understanding it is up to the girl and what she feels comfortable with. She may want to respect her parents' wishes for her, or stick to what her Sikh/Indian community expects of her, and if this is the case then I would recommend that you be understanding of that culture. It is really up to her. However, I know many cases where Sikh youth have dated and have not had problems dating and still living their lives as devoted Sikhs.

Just know that in her community and family your professed interest in her will likely be considered a serious thing and will not be taken lightly, so you should consider this in whatever decision you decide to make.