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Summary of Question:Any Advice
Category:Health
Date Posted:Thursday, 5/26/2005 11:58 AM MDT

Hi. I have some problems that I need advice on. Firstly I am a manic depressive/bipolar. Everyday I get huge manic moods where I'm so hyper I can't concentrate on my studies or perform well at work, and my behaviour seem extremely eccentric to people around me., Then I become very depressed, my mind begins to shut down and again I cannot concentrate on anything. At this point, well recently I have resorted to eating large amounts of chocolate and drinking large quantities of tea. This helps for a while and gives be balance in my mind, but afterwards I crash and am so tired. For the last couple of years I have been a comfort eater, eating large quantities of food, probably over 5000 calories a day, know it’s down to 3000 - 4000. I have almost given up drinking alcohol completely, because I am an alcoholic. At my peak, I used to drink 10-15 pints of beer a day, and spirits on top of beer (enough to kill you). All this has led to weight gain. I have offset this weight gain, be becoming obsessed with exercise. I been weight lifting, walking long distances, taken up very tough form of martial arts (which I got kicked out of for getting aggressive with my teacher), jogged, ran, power lifted. I am currently 220 pounds, quite muscular and fat; I just look like a big healthy guy to people. But I was only 170 pounds before my problems began.

Since I was a kid I have had Obsessive compulsive disorder. I wash my hands 20 times a day, I will check to see if a door or a window is locked 3 or 4 times, I will check if the gas cooker is off 10 times.
Now I have uncontrollable fits of rage, where I just lose control - I offset it by jumping away, and smashing myself into the floor, rather than hurting someone.
I cannot hold discipline for doing paath or meditation, though I have to do sessions or I just could not go on. I couple of times a month meditate on mool mantar up to 2 hours in one go – I do this in the middle of the night. At work I use techniques of controlling my breathing, and slowing my heart beat right down for up to 2 hours continuous - just to get through the day. I attempt to continuous meditate on Vaheguru, but can only manage half a day, and then my problems come back. I listen to jap ji sahib, sukhmani sahib - but cannot hold a routine. I focus on my third eye, and tenth gate, but cannot hold the focus for long
I have attempted to become celibate, but in my mood swing I can't.
I have this destructive beast in me, its killing me, and it’s hurting everyone I love. I can't control it.

But I will survive, I will take Amrit. – But for the time being, give me some comforting words.

---reply

Have you seen a counselor? How do you know you are Bipolar? Are you on medication? Medication should be able to help you. All I can advise you to do is see a good counselor. Medication may be very helpful and allow you to lead a normal life. Blessings to you. GTKK



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