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Summary of Question:Alcoholic Father-In-Law
Category:Health
Date Posted:Monday, 10/18/2004 10:45 AM MDT

sat sri akaal


i really need some help and was hoping that u cud helpme. i recently got married, it was a love marriage. my husband is very nice and treats me well, and so is his family. the problem is my father-in-law. he has a drinking problem. he will often go and out and end up really drunk, and when we ask him where he is going he lies and says he is going to his friends or for a walk. when he is drunk he starts to swear and talks violently. we have been to the doictors about this and the hospital and they have told us that his kidney is getting damaged. they have given him medicine to take, but my father-in-law fails to take them.

i dont know what to do please help me

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reply
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Sat Siri Akaal. There is not much you can do. It is more important what you don't do. DON'T make it easy for him to drink. DON'T enable the situation by promising to drive him home when he is drunk. DON'T let him keep liquor in the house (even if it is his house). You could even go to the extreme of this: DON'T let him in the house when he is drunk. He is a danger to all of you when he sinks into that violent state that is common for alcoholics. Do you really want to raise your children in that environment???? Your father-in-law has a disease. He has to WANT to stop drinking, and he has to make the effort first. You all can support him not to drink, but it has to come from him first, you cannot make him stop. This has been understood and taught in the group Alcoholics Anonymous. If you are in a country with such an organization or chapter, check it out. http://www.aa.org/ More information on this disease and how NOT to enable alcoholism is at this site. You should contact them for brochures and assistance. Search the AA site. It's a great program. The other option is to check him into a 'rehabilitation' program, provided the area you live in offers them for drug and alcohol addicts. They cost money and generally require the person to be willing in the first place. Guru ang sang,
-DKK



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