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Summary of Question:	Have I Lost My Faith?
Category:	Health
Date Posted:	Thursday, 6/30/2005 4:00 PM MDT

All my life, Waheguru and the sikh religion has played a major part in all that I am and everything that I did. My life has not been easy, I have had my fair share of problems but I took everything willingly, believing it was a test of some sort from my Waheguru.

I became a vegetarian, stopped cutting my hair, did my paath, morning and night, stopped telling little white lies, treated people like I wished to be treated. Never had I felt more at peace with myself and my Waheguru.

Then my 12 year old daughter became ill and (I am ashamed to say this) I felt so angry with my god. She does not have a life threatening illness (yet) but what she does have will ensure years of pain for her.

All that I had ever asked for was the health of my children, so when this happened it was like god was hitting me where it would hurt me the most. It has been six months since she was diagnosed and although my initial anger has gone it has been replaced with some doubt. I have missed having god in my life but I am not sure how I can go back to what I once had.

I am sorry if this sounds childish but these are my honest feelings.

WJKK
WJKF

Kamaljit

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We make a big mistake when we think that God is punishing us...or that our faith will only lead to "good" things. Who knows what the karma is of your daughter. Maybe God's blessing to you is that a life-threatening disease was prevented. Maybe this disease is the lesser. One time I was in a car accident. I went to Yogi Bhajan and told him I was so depressed because of this accident...was in a lot of pain, etc. He said, "Be grateful. You are alive. If it was not for your good karma, you would be dead." Another mistake we make as mortals is to try to second guess God and Guru. The best thing is ot be grateful. Your daughter, more than ever before, needs you to be strong in faith and body. Don't waiver. Give her the gift of faith...no matter what life hurls her way. Your model will help her be strong. I know you don't want her to grow up feeling cheated. Her disease is a fact now. How you and she deal with it is your choice. I know a teen who fell off a cliff and is a parapelegic...paralyzed from his waist down. Because of his positive attitude, he has been in magazines, has gotten a lot of help and he is very popular with his peers. He could have been depressed and felt like a victim...resentful and angry for his situation. Instead, he rose to it and fought back. He is one of the most inspiring young people I know. Many other youth are inspired by him. Help your daughter be like that youth. Your feeling self-pity isn't going to help your daughter. God and Guru haven't abandoned you. Blessings. GTKK