Re: my bad days with hair (PROBLEM OVERLOOKED!) with Reply
Wednesday, 6/16/1999 3:05 PM MDT
I read with keen interest you response to the Singh is on the verge of losing his Gursikh roop.
The question of peer pressure has been addressed well in this response as it has always been. But I would like to draw attention to something serious that has been overlooked most of the time. The Singh mentions that he has faced rejection from "all" the girls coz of his beard. This is something most young Sikh men are going through. I did my masters from a very prestigious institute from India. We had a reasonably good no. of Sikh men and women. During the 3 yrs of my study there I saw more than 10 Sikh women who had non-sikh boyfriends and finally married them. I did not come across even a single case where a Sikh man had a girlfriend, sikh or non-sikh. Obviously it was not because the men did not want it. It was because not even the Sikh girls were interested in them. Finally what I have seen happening is that most of the intelligent/beautiful/nice women marry someone outside the community. The Sikh men end up as bachelors into their late 20s and early 30s and finally end up marrying soemone they barely kn
ow or alternatively give up their Sikh saroop to get closer to women.
I do not want to philosophize the issue. I see this as a serious practical problem for the community(at least for Punjabi Sikhs) which needs some practical solution. If you think I am overstating/exaggerating pls do not bother to repond because I am saying this from my first hand experience and from experiences related to me by some Sikh men in South East Asia.
I have a lot of respect for the moderators of the Youth Forum. I am eagerly and sincerely waiting for replies.
1. My apologies if I sound bitter but whenever I have tried to draw attention I have been told that I am exaggerating.
2. If u r about to suggest Sikhnet just look up the amazing no. of women saying "No turban/sardar/beard please" !!
Thank you for bringing awareness to the issue of anti-beard, turban and bana postings on the Marriage Section. I am going to suggest that the section be moderated to prevent such anti-dharmic personals from being posted.
However, please contemplate also on the following: The capacity to recognize that rejection by foolish people is not a regrettable experience is an early sign of emergent wisdom within oneself. This would be true in all situations where a GurSikh might feel rejected by worldly people for the qualities of being a Sikh.
Consider how the corrupt priests of the time locked Guru Tegh Bahadur out of the Harimander Sahib. We still meditate and pray beside the tree where he sat in so-called <rejection>. Those priests are long gone, having been exposed and turned out by the GurSikh women of that time who arose in protest. All this is to say that Truth always has a way to bless the truthful, and to reveal dishonesty for what it is. For one who has given his or her head to the Guru, social pain isn't a really great problem. Even martyrdom is not a barrier to enlightenment by the Guru's grace. That is our history.