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Summary of Question:Eating Disorders And Self Image
Category:Health
Date Posted:Friday, 11/08/2002 12:08 PM MST

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa,

Waheguru Ji Ki Fatheh.

First of all, I would like to thank you for having such a great forum and for the all the great seva that you do for the sikh community.

Here is my question: I am a sikh girl in my early 20's. All my life I have struggled with my weight, and being an indian girl, this has been a big and somewhat traumatic issue all my life. My family would constantly tell me to diet and lose weight and they would constantly remind me how my friends were thinner and therefore looked better than I did. It felt so bad that I got to the point where I started taking diet pills.
Eventually, I did lose alot of weight--but the problem is I can't stop being self conscious about myself. Everywhere I go, I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging my weight. I'm still taking diet pills because I am so afraid of gaining weight and going back to being "ugly." This has been very stressful for me, and sometimes I find myself overeating and binge eating just to deal with my emotions. How can I overcome my problem? I've tried talking to my family about it, but they tell me that such issues don't exist in our culture and that I should forget about it. I consider myself a very gursikh. I try to read my banis whenever I can and I listen to shabads and go to the Gurdwara whenever I can. I do not drink or smoke. But I feel my problem is beginning to tear me up from inside. What should I do?
Thank you.
(REPLY) Sat Nam. This is not an easy one to solve, because it's all tied up with your sense of self-worth, which you've identified with your physical body. This is not uncommon in today's world, but it is so unfortunate because your body is not who you ARE! There are several ways to approach this. Of course it starts with understanding that God created you, and lives and breathes in you, and that you are a divine being TEMPORARILY traveling through time and space on this planet in a vehicle called a phuysical body! It changes all the time. You were you when you were born, and when you were ten years old, etc, but your body has certainly changed! Of course you have been made to feel self-conscious by the criticism of your parents, but now it's time to realize that everyone is NOT looking at you! Diet pills are a poor substitute for controlling your food intake, and getting plenty of exercise. You don't have be a great athlete, just walking vigorously every day for 30 minutes or so should help keep weight off, and will help your mood also! Obviously, you should consult a doctor to ensure that medically your metabolism is normal. Some people tend to put on weight easily, some do not. Not eating sweets usually helps to keep weight off. But everyone's body is different. The main thing is that you want to stop obsessing about this. Get involved in something that takes your mind off YOU. Can you find someone or some organization to help? Can you do seva at the Gurdwara? Try making the reading of your banis a regular, not to be missed routine, so that your spirit is nourished every day -- and that preferably before sunrise. If you could focus on making this a better world for your having been born, then I think you'd get over worrying about your personal appearance. One of the most influential, beautiful, and beloved women in the United States was Eleanor Roosevelt, (Who was actually quite homely - if not ugly in the face - and had a truly abrasive voice!) She did an incredible amount of good work and helped many many people because of her deeds, not her looks! She said, "Non one can make you feel bad about yourself unless you permit it." May God and Guru bless you to realize the divine being that you ARE. SP

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Reply:

Normally, moderators don't add comments to each other's posts, but I did want to add something to this one. Eating Disorders are not cultural. They can affect any woman from any culture - and they are something that you should take seriously because binging and other things that come along with eating disorders do affect your physical body in very serious ways. Usually, woman who suffer from eating disorders just can't "will" the problem away. First, you need to eductae yourself about eating disorders - there are books at the bookstore you can find. These will help you understand what type of problem you are suffering from and to what degree you are suffering. Then, after educating yourself, find the appropriate support/help. Counseling is a good idea. There are support groups out there. The bottom line is that eating disorders can impact your health for the long term and, depending on the severity, can damage heart tissue, muscle tissue - the kinds of thing you don't want to mess with. So please find out more about this and love yourself enough to get the support you need.

All love,

GPK



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