Previous PreviousNext NextAsk a Question Ask a Question

Sikhnet Youth Forum Sikh Youth - Question and Answer Forum

Summary of Question:Christian Friend Uncomfortable In Sikh Situation
Category:Gurdwara
Date Posted:Tuesday, 6/03/2003 12:11 PM MDT

Sat Nam...


A disturbing rumor has come my way. I've been told that a very good friend of mine came late to my wedding last year, walked into the langar hall, and pointedly said, "Sorry I'm late folks, but I chose to dress like an American." I was horrified and can't believe this woman could be that crass. She is of an evangelical Christian church and had never been to a Gurudwara; but she's no dummy either, and knows how to act in anyone's house of worship. I've been told that several heard the comment and were really offended. I don't know how to deal with this one; how do you approach someone who is supposed to be a good buddy on such a subject? Please enlighten me on this one!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

*******
REPLY
*********
Sat Siri AKaal. Since you did not hear the comment FIRST HAND, my recommendation is to forgive her anyway (in your heart) and act as if it never happened; certainly do not confront her. My Catholic parents made every effort to sit through a gurdwara for me, but said they'd had enough 'strangeness for one day' and declined langar afterwards (we left). I did not take offense, and perhaps the same kind of thing is going on with your friend.

There may come an opportunity for you to ask her in a neutral fashion if she is uncomfortable with you/your path because it's not Christian or "American" in her eyes. Her response will tell you your answer and then it is up to you what you choose to do with the relationship. Unless and until that happens, tell those that mention it to you that you would rather not discuss it, and act as if it didn't happen. Of course, you will probably want to exercise caution about inviting her to other events that involve Gurdwara or the Sikh community, especially since others supposedly DID hear her comment and would continue to be offended by it. Hope this helps,
Guru ang sang,
-DKK



[Previous Main Document]
Christian Friend Uncomfortable In Sikh Situation (06/03/2003)
[Next Main Document]

by Topic | by Category | by Date | Home Page




History - Donation - Privacy - Help - Registration - Home - Search

Copyright © 1995-2004 SikhNet