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Summary of Question:	What To Say ?
Category:	Hair
Date Posted:	Monday, 4/28/2008 3:52 AM MDT

WKWF,

I am a girl recently married and settled in USA. My problem is when i was in india i never did any shaving - waxing, upperlips, eyebrows etc because i had being blessed with naturally beautiful eyebrows and little hairs. But after i shifted here my sister-in-laws and my relatives here keep on rudely saying me ...can i trim your hairs or you have a bushy eyebrows or can i remove your mush-tack. I really feel bad for these question. My husband is amritdhari and i have not taken amrit yet because my husband said u can take amrit if u able to maintain the lifestyle like india here ? Please tell me how to deal with this situation because these people keeps hurting me and says, come on u can do this because u havent had taken amrit . I say them nothing but inside i feel so angry and wanted to say them if u can do what i do then i will see . Please help me to calm down . Another thing is my husband praises them for looking good . I would like to make clear at the same time he praises me too for looking good and carrying my own identity but still i feel jealeous when he praises her sister too much for looking good. I feel anyone can look good with going into beauty salon. I want to rise above this level and do not want to care what people say.

Please help me to calm down and stop thinking of these stupid question . Also please advice me how to answere them in future without hurting anyone including myself .

(REPLY) Sat Nam. I admire your commitment to living as a true Gursikh! May God and Guru give you the courage to maintain your integrity and not compromise your values just to please or placate those ignorant (yes, they are ignorant and superficial!) people! My suggestion as to what you can say to them is simply, "Thank you for your kind advice and opinion, I appreciate your good intentions. However, kindly honor my lifestyle choice." If you don't get into any discussion beyond this, and refuse to let them bully you, just keep saying the same thing every time, being polite yet firm, they may stop -- or not. My prayers are with you! SP