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Summary of Question:Sad Sister Part 2
Category:Health
Date Posted:Monday, 5/01/2006 11:16 PM MDT

Firstly thanks to all those people who replied to my original post of my sad sister a few weeks ago. There have been some developments so I thought I would ask for some advise on what to do.

unknown to me while crying over her ex she was still seeing him as a friend. Until recently he dumped her again saying that she was responsible for all his pain. And so I am back to square one where she is crying over him and not eating and sleeping. She has also not being going to school. On top of all of this my parents are badgering me constantly about
- what is wrong with your sister
- why are you single what is wrong with you.
Of course in the midst of all of this I am working full time and going to school. So I was just wondering what I can do to help her and myself cause I can't really take all of the pressure anymore.
Thanks

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reply
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Sat nam. Original advice still applies. She needs to get over him and take responsibilty for her part in creating this pain she's in. Draw a line for yourself and say you cannot be the shoulder she leans on while she wallows in self-pity and hurt. Life goes on. Show her that by example and when you see her, take her out on some activity that is not likely to remind her of him. It is not your responsibility to enable her self-pity by being there to listen every time she moons and gets emotional over the past. I sound harsh, but it's true. She'll never find someone else so long as she keeps her mind attached to him/the past, and you'll break if you think you can fix this for her. You cannot. Your priority, I think, is your studies, not your sister's broken heart.

Now, if you think it's warranted, take her to a social service counselor or a doctor to ensure that her broken heart hasn't made her clinically depressed. Clinical depression (requires therapy and medication) is not the same as a broken heart's depression. I believe there are counselors where you are that are taxpayer funded. Or your school may be an option.

As for your singleness, be clear on what you want out of life and remind your parents that you don't want to be LIMITED to the life of a homemaker (nothing wrong with that mind you!!!) and that's why you are working and going to school. Time enough to find a man when you're done with school and more certain of your work path.
Guru ang sang,
_DKK



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