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Summary of Question:	Her Past Is Bothering Me
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Thursday, 4/10/2008 4:56 AM MDT

Hiya i really love your website and enjoy reading your advice and i thought maybe you could help me.

well the thing is i have met this lovely girl im 27 and she is 28 and she is all that i could ask for....the thing is i dont have a past and she does, she has had boyfriends and some non sikh..........and this is bothering me....she told me she has never had sex and i believe her........BUT she has done some sexual things and this is bothering me alot......when im with her i dont think about it BUT when she says something to trigger my mind or mentions an ex it reminds me puts my mind in doubt.....so i dont know what to do...she tells me that she is very lucky that she got a pure guy like me BUT i feel a bit cheated that i didnt get a pure girl u know......i dont know what to think at the moment.

please help me?????

---Sat Nam. Well, there are various ways to look at this. You can look at her as impure, as you have. You can also see that she "experimented" a little and that experimentation taught her some lessons, which have shown her that she wants someone like you. We all experiment in ways - that is what life is all about, right? Now, it seems like she is wanting to settle down. Perhaps she will be a better person, wife and mother because she is ready. The other plus is that she told you the truth. She could have lied to you. Truthful communication is a basis of a good lasting relationship. Have you done nothing that you are not proud...or that taught you a lesson? Should she hold that against you forever? It is reasonable, though, to ask her to not talk about her ex-boyfriends. If you are going to build a life together, forgive the past, start from the present and build the future together. Blessings, JJK