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Summary of Question:	His Past Disturbs Me
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 4/08/2008 7:51 AM MDT

WKWF,

I am regular visitor to this forum and it had helped me a lot to take my life decision. I have got recently married and now settled in UK. I have being bought up in india and with great indian culture and sikhi values and have been far away from western cultures. I never ever did any friendship with any guys during my unversities days because i always believed its useless and waste of time with persons who will not stay with us forever. Always stayed away from parties, gathering because i belives that my time and company will be only for my Mr.Perfect. After my engagement my husband told me regarding his past relationship. This was all before he took amrit. All things which he said was a culture shock for me because i have being bought up in totally different environment. I didnt even know the reproductive system untill my engagement.

My husband is a wonderful man and loves me a lot. We are planning to take Amrit together after few yrs. He is a pure sikh and i married him only because of love for his sikhi.

My problem is his past relationship disturbs me. I simply cant believe that he has such past like drinking, having sex with girlfriend etc etc. He said that they were not serious. But now when i come accross his past messages written on notes i get so jealous. He do not know abt these things which accidently came accross me. I do not discuss these things with him as i read in this forum that its none of my bussiness about his past relationships and when he does not remember these things why do i do??

Please suggest me how can i stop myself from thinking about his past girlfriend and girls-as-friends with whom he shared room and was missing them as written on note. From my upbringing i believe that the room is only shared between husband and wife. We togther regularly do our nitnem and are very happy still such thoughts keep disturbing me.

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I'm a little confused about these notes. You said that he is still missing
them as written on the note? Is he still seeing them? Who are the notes written to? IF he is still seeing them or writing notes to them, that needs to stop. You will need to ask him about this. He is not being faithful to you if he is still involved with them in any way. Discuss it with him. He needs to put his energy, thoughts and actions into his marriage and building a life together with you. I assume, he wanted a pure girl, which he got with you. He needs to honor your purity and what he wanted. Many blessings, JJK