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Summary of Question:	Culture
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Friday, 12/20/2002 8:40 PM MST

Hi!!!! I'm a 13 year old ,but a lot more mature for my age. I have many freinds and am often asked to go to movies, parties,etc. But the only problem is that my parents don't allow me to hang out with my freind. I get good grades and every thing. I know they're just doing stuff for my best, but i have a strong self control and if anything is not suitable for me i will not do it.They say it's part of my culture. Okay i respect that but there are many 13 years olds that hang out with their friends in India, but just not in the same ways as over here. I there any thing i can tell her or i need to understand??

ALSO, there's a real good movie called Khalsa Mero Roop Hai Khaas. It show the difference between culture and religion.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. Yes, there is a difference between culture and religion. There are thousands of Sikhs who are not from the Punjabi culture. But we all share the same values and virtues as taught by our Gurus. At 13 you sound very intelligent and mature, but hanging out with friends in India is undoubtedly very different from doing that in the west. I appreciate that you say that you would not do anything inappropropriate, and I believe that is your intention. What you don't understand, and what your parents obviously do understand is that it's impossible sometimes to control situations where there is a group of kids. They may all decide to do something that you don't want to join in, but there you are, and let's face it, not giving in to peer pressure is extremely difficult. Can't you arange for group parties at your home, where there would be supervision? If you were 16, I would say you could probably discuss alternatives with your parents, but at 13, I think you just have to be patient, and try to use your time in the most constructive ways possible. Are there clubs you could join at school that interest you? Do you play a musical instrument? That could be a really worthwhile hobby. Can you invite one or two friends over for dinner at your home? Perhaps if your parents get to know your friends, they might be more willing to let you go to specific places with a group. I don't have a lot of hope though at this point. So meanwhile, have you spent any time learning Sikh History? Have you explored the SikhNet website? You can even read Siri Guru Granth Sahib on line! It will give you the wisest perspective on what life is all about! You will grow up all too fast, so take advantage of this time to discover what a rich religious heritage you have, and what fulfilling and enjoyable thing it is to develop a relationship with your Guru! Blessings with love, SP