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Summary of Question:	What Problems Might Be Faced By A Non-Sikh
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 1/03/2003 2:05 AM MST

My future husband is a childless, divorced Sikh with conservative, extremely religious parents, whose approval he seeks for our union. They are Punjabi Indians.

I am a divorced Christian, a convert from Baptist to Catholic, with a teenage son. My family are black Americans, mostly conservative and extremely religious. My parents are not entirely comfortable with the marriage, because they worry about finances and social status.

We are planning to live in India.


I am also very religious, although I do not fully accept all church/Christian teachings, like belief in Jesus as God or that there is no re-incarnation. I believe that organised religion is spiritually unneccesary, unless a person feels a need for a certain religion or culture, in order that he or she may become a better person, i.e. live in a way that God wants. Also, I believe that societies need religion in order to maintain peace and encourage godly living.

Therefore, I would not feel any moral problem in converting to Sikhism or any other godly religion, if this is the religion of my spouse. This is so that family unity is maintain, and children will remember their heritage. I want my children to grow up in a Sikh household.

My religious belief as regards marriage is that husband and wife are emanations of the same spirit, so, in that sense, they are already "married". However, because humans are living in a physical world in which an organised religion is an integral part of society, a traditional marriage is necessary.


I would like to know two things:

What are the steps I should take in order to officially become a Sikh

and

What are the social problems I might face as a foreigner and/or as a non-Sikh living in a community of very religious Sikhs.

Is it possible for an American Catholic to be accepted into the Sikh community in her role as wife and mother?



Thank you for your expedient response.

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Gosh, you are a brave soul. I am going to give you my email address, because I have some questions for you and I think this may take more talking back and forth than just one response on Sikhnet.

Where do you live now? Where in India will you live when you move there? Will you be living with your in-laws, like is usually customary? How Westernized and open is your fiance? This is very important. The customs in India are very different than our own. What you are walking into is very important to know before you do it.

The reason I am asking where you live now is because there may be a Sikh Gurdwara in your town, where you could get some counseling on what Sikh vows consist of and how you can take them, if you decide you can live to them. If you go on the regular Sikhnet web site, there is the book, Victory and Virtue posted, which gives you all the Sikh vows. Maybe your fiance can help describe to you the vows, if he knows them. But, if there is a Gurdwara in your area, they can help you. It doesn't need to be an Indian Gurdwara. There are White-Sikh (horrible term) Gurdwaras in many cities. If you email me where you live, I may know how to connect you with some people in your area.

So, please email me at [email protected] with your answers and lets go from there. You are a brave one and I would like to help you as much as I can. I am a White, born Christian, converted Sikh and understand the Indian culture to some extent. Looking forward to your response. GTKK