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Summary of Question:Hindu Girl In Love With A Sikh Boy
Category:Love & Marriage
Date Posted:Sunday, 12/07/2008 5:53 PM MST

Sat Siri Akal

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he is a sikh and wears his pagri with great pride. I on the other hand was raised a Hindu but always taught to respect other religions like sikhism.

We stayed together as a couple even though i studied, at university, at the other end of the country to him. I care for him greately and would say that i love him too. We have discussed marriage and i always accepted that our children, if we did marry, would be raised as sikhs. At university I joined the Sikh society so that i could understand the faith in more depth and to prove to my boyfriend that i had embraced his religion. But that does not seem to be enough for him. He now wants me to take amrit. He says it is something we can do together so he can introduce me to his parents as a possible bride.

In my eyes to deny the religion i grew up with would be to lie to myself and to him.

I don't know what more i can do to prove to him that i want to spend the rest of my life with him, without taking amrit. Is there anything else that i can do?

Thank you.
Dear one,
Religion can be very devisive and pull you apart while you are not actually dis-agreeing. You have a different experience of your faith and he wants you to share with him more deeply. I can be a Jew and you can be a Hindu, but the experience I get from reciting my nitnem takes me beyond that religious designation.

I guess he became an Amritdhari Sikh during these years together.

For you there is the honest reply, that you had never considered taking Amrit. Therefore, you would share that you need time to explore that possibility. Also, you should ask him to share in his daily practices. Are you adverse to actually reciting Jap Ji together and seeing what that does for you as a unit?

There is of course another perspective. Guru Nanak taught that there is no Hindu or Muslim but we are all one creation of the One Creator. So, for your personally, I suggest that you explore and experience the practice of Sikhee as a technology of elevated mind rather than another religion. It is like going to Kundalini Yoga class and finding how doing the yoga and meditation gives you a deeper experience of your spirituality. Yet, it is not a religion. The practice of Shabd and nitnem is a powerful experience for any human and I hope you can see yourself as Bibi Nanaki the very graceful sister of Nanak. She herself was a Hindu but she saw the light of truth in her brother and supported him through all the irritations and disappointments of their parents.

Blessings to you with this,

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