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Summary of Question:	Homosexuality
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 11/22/2000 8:14 AM MST

This question is from a friend who does not have access to e-mail so I offered to ask the question for him.

My friend is very confused. We have allways been close and I have allways sensed that he is not totally hetrosexual, he has said his self that he finds men attractive. He is a brilliant friend truthfull, honest and a model citizen. He is a sikh but does not wear a turban because his hair is not long enough to tie into a top knot yet, he trims his beard. He does daily prayers attends gurudwara regularly, he is a strict vegetarian, doesn't smoke or drink alcohol and he doesn't go to clubs or bars. I know people think of him as feminine because he does not show any interest in sports or "boy things".

His main concern is that although he finds women attractve he also is attracted to men. But he never looks at women in a vulgar or sexual nature he respects women.
He has told me that he finds men sexually attractive,and on some occasion he wanted to be held by and be intimate with a man he met at work.(my friend is still a virgin though.)

His parents and no one else knows of his gay feelings because he knows that no one in his family will accept him, because it is such a taboo subject in the asian society.
We both grew up together and we both were loners because we suffered at the hands of bullies and racists. We helped each other to accept whatever life throws at us.

What he really wants to know is that are his thoughts really that wrong? and what are the sikhi views on same sex relationships, I know you previously said in another reply that same sex relationships should be avoided due to inbalance of karma etc. But what are the religious implications of bi/homosexuality.

I will never stop being his friend no matter what people may think of him because I dearly love him as brother and I want to help him in his time of need
we shall both be very gratefull if you could answer the qustions and or give advice.

Thankyou and may God truly bless you for providing such a valuable service.

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Reply
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Dear One, I wish that this answer was easier.If he has ability to be attracted to women he should be very grateful. You see, sexuality in Sikhee relates to the marriage of a man and woman and the sacredness of their singular physical relationship. It is a means to creating a future of children that can live in elevation and mastery.

When you speak of homosexuality and even bisexuality, the implication is that the relationship is based on sex. Our Sikh way of life is a system of living for acheiving harmony of the mind, body and spirit and living in God consciousness. If you are focusing heavily on the physical aspects of your relationships, then you are already out of balance.

I would encourage your friend to direct his mind away from flirting with his own sexuality. Let it go. When ever these thoughts come up, he should direct his mind to meditate on "Wahe Guru". Encourage him to develop his capacity as a "God man" rather than a "gay man".

There is no such thing as same sex marriages in the Sikh Gurdwara.