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Summary of Question:	Love And Marriage
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 7/04/2001 3:54 PM MDT

I am a 29 year old single Amritdhara woman. It has been several years now since my parents have been trying to find someone for me. (for marriage purposes)At 21 or 26 years of age marriage just wasn't an interest for me and to be honest I wasn't too concerned about getting married then because I had other goals and aspirations. But now at 29 years old I am worried. I know that Guru Sahib states that we shouldn't worry about our life since the almighty Lord will take care of us but I can't help being worried now. And I really need your advice to help me get through this. In this email I will be as honest as I can be. My initial attitude towards marriage was always one that was negative. I always thought both men and marriage were oppressive.Prior to taking Amrit I was introduced to alot of young men, none of who I felt attracted to. (if I did after talking to them I realized that it just wasn't going to work) It always seemed that the men I met(some of them) were willing to pursue a relationship with me even t

hough I wasn't so keen. After much thought about my self and thanks to Guru Sahib I have understood why I didn't want to pursue a relationship with anyone then.I had alot of pain and anger and confusion to sort out within myself and I also had to learn how to trust people (which I'm still struggling with, any advice for me?)So I rejected every young man that I met and even though some of them did state to my family that they were interested I knew that they were basing their decision on superficial reasons ie they thought I was pretty. A significant amount of time has passed since then and I still haven't met that person who I feel that I belong to, perhaps there isn't one for me out there but I am getting really worried and also i am beginning to regret holding such a negative attitude on marriage. But this attitude must have come from somewhere. I am still trying to figure that out. I have always had a hard time talking to my parents about this issue. They at times get just as frustrated as I do so it's usu

ally better not to talk about it. But what i'm wondering today at 29 is if I am ever going to get married. It seems as if things are going ok when I meet someone but after we start to speak everything goes wrong. It seems that some of the men i meet don't like my attitude towards a few issues and when I voice them they reject me. If someone rejects me based on my views is it fair to say that they are not meant for me? How I see it is that most men won't marry you unless you follow what they say or have some common interests. How do you know that this is the right person for you when you are introduced to someone.? And also I believe that I can't find anyone because of all the dating around that I have done in the past with other men. Could that be a reason? At one point in time I was asking Vaheguru not to get me married because I was scared and doubtful of others today I have changed my mind and am asking God to help me. If I never get married as a woman is that wrong? being single I feel guilty I feel as i

f I have done something wrong that is why I am still single. Please offer some advice to me. God bless you eternally and keep you happy.

Also Thanks to this question and answer forum so many of us can be honest about ourselves and our troubles. It's wonderful to see people being honest about themselves May we always have access to this type of service with the Grace of God.

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA VAHEGURU JI KA FATEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Sat Nam!!

It is fine that you wanted to pursue other interests. A fulfilled woman makes a better wife and mother. It is also fine that you are honest about your beliefs. Woman have suppressed their true selves for long enough. Be yourself and shine. The right man will come along. You are still very young. Relax and allow your partner to come. Read from the Guru and ask for His guidance. Above all, be yourself, have faith and don't ever sacrifice who you are, or subdue it to please a man. Just be yourself...then the most perfect man for you will come.If you pretend to be someone else, then you will be attracting to you someone who is attracted to the false you. It is best to be totally you and ask the Guru to bring someone to you who will honor and cherrish you, exactly as you are. May Guru guide you. GTKK