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Summary of Question:	Nasty Thoughts
Category:	Meditation
Date Posted:	Thursday, 10/24/2002 10:19 AM MDT

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh. I'm been having this problem for some weeks and i honestly feel a little lost and disgusted with myself. I am very much into Sikhi and try to be in touch with my spritual Side. Everytime i seem to focus on the Guru and God, when i'm praying i start to get horrible or uneasy visions in my mind. I'm trying to focus hard on an image of a Guru in my mind (that's how i always pray) but its almost like a devil sitting on my shoulder and trying to sway my mind away. I used to find it easy to focus on god through my mind and i managed to find peace in my life. Could you give me any useful advice? Or am i just going mad? I'm not sure if my past has anything to do with what's happening now. Recently i've remembered when i was very young i did some stupid things which i regret so much and feel the guilt now. I've asked god for forgiveness as i was a stupid kid that didn't have any spiritual know how at all.

I would really appreciate any guidance

Fateh
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Reply
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Dear one, actually you are doing very well! You are not going mad. You are really at a point of being effective in your meditation. You are at a level of awareness now where you are conscious of the accumulated stored thoughts that your mind has collected all through out this life.

Meditation is a process of emptying those garbage cans of accumulated thoughts and experiences that distracts us from our 'one true source'. You are coming into the experience of how you can control your mind rather than let your mind control you. The image I can give you is: your mind is a donkey and you (identity) are the rider. You want to have the donkey carry you and your packages, rather than have the donkey ride on top of you. So you just need to adjust the usage of your mind.

When you sit in meditation and a thought comes to you(millions can and will), just acknowledge it's presence and then say good bye to that thought, release it, let it go....you do not need to fight. Forgive those past mistakes that come up as worries. Mistakes are important barometers of experience and growth. Forgive the thought, bless yourself and move on back to your focus.

Keep clearing your thoughts and then continue with your meditative focus...Wahe Guru or breath or whatever you are doing.

This will be a continual process. It is a training for you not to get caught by a thought that "gets you". Keep up with your practice. Be patient with yourself. Just watch what your mind does objectively and keep yourself seperate from the stream of thoughts. You are a spectator only. Remember to focus your eyes on the tip of your nose in this process if your thoughts try to overpower you, And remember to keep breathing long and deep always.

God bless you, SKKK