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Summary of Question:	I Hate My Relatives
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 1/15/2003 3:08 AM MST

hey all

about a year ago i realised that all my relatives were sooooo two-faced. theyd be nice to you but as soon as ya backs were turned theyd stabb you in the back or say really bad stuff about you. im a nice person, i neva say horrible things about anyone and i try and help everyone as much as possible but yet my relatives have painted a horrible picture of me. when i go to the gurdwara they smaile and be nice to me. but i dont think that it is right to lie and put on a act in the gurdwara and they do that i know they dont like me. then when i dont talk to them propa and when i dont put on a act because i dont wanna lie. i begin to look like the nasty person and my relatives look like the victims. then more people hate me. ive even stoped going to the gurdwara when they are there.
i just hate the way that people dont know what youre really like so instead of them finding out who i really am they dont want to waste their time so they paint a nasty picture of me anyway.
Wheneva i do go to the gurdwara i know that it is for me and i dont talk to anyone that is going to make me upset there.
In a next week im going to go to the gurdwara because i want to and i miss going because i havent been for a while. but i know all my relatives are goin to be there. so what do i do? do i put on an act so i look nice and they put on an act so they nice to me. or do i just leave it and act normal. the thing is i dont want to put on an act at the gurdwara and pretend to be someone im not as that upsets me and i know that what im doing is a lie. but i dont want to have a negative vibe there and look bad because then i feel bad and i shouldnt be horrible at the gurdwara. What do i do? im so confused. but all i know is.... that i want to go to the gurdwara and no one should and can stop me.

i know that it sounds like a silly problem but i just dont know who i am anymore.

thanx, just me writting all this down has helped me.
take care.
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Reply
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Dear one,
We chose the family we belong to. Good or bad, God makes us all.

I understand your unhappiness with the falseness that you have identified in your relatives. Maybe it is better to put on a graceful face rather than them going around looking ugly and deceitful.

In any case, for your peaceful frame of mind, try this when you go to Gurdwara.
First, before going, say out loud to yourself(do it now!):
"in the Name of the Guru I bless you, I bless you, I bless you"
Say the name of each person troubling you, at the beginning of this sentence.
When you have blessed each one of them, then, bless yourself.
"In the Name of the Guru, heal me, heal me, heal me."

In Gudrwara, when you are faced with any one of them.....bless them 3 times again(In the Name of the Guru, I bless you, bless you, bless you). Practice blessing them. You will find peace of mind and ease. You cannot control them or change them, but you can help yourself.

Also, meditating in Gurdwara is a good way to dispel your thoughts of anger, irritation etc. Deeply meditate on the "Muhl Mantra". When you enjoy your meditation and feel your inner connection, these people cannot bother you.

God bless you, SKKK