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Summary of Question:	Re; Chagne In Life
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Thursday, 2/06/2003 10:38 AM MST

I am replying in response to this poor girl who is spiritually way mature than mentally and does not know what to do.

Dear child, you have a good advise from SP, but I think you want little more detail how to without burning bridges??Like SP said, you have to make the decision.So, keeping that in mind let's see.When those girls are in town and want to get together make an excuse.Stop emailing them and do not reply to theirs, when asked personally/or on phone not email - just say you are very busy with college, life whatevr, make a valid excuse.Hopefully slowly when they see you making excuses all the time 1.Either if they are smart will get the message and leave ou alone 2. If they are not or want to pick an arguement/fight (as their ego has been hurt by you ignoring them) them this is the time to let them know that you do not like being around them and feel things they do are unethical.That even though you were a part of it that by being in some people you realised you were on the wrong track but did not know how really to tell you without really hurting you all.So, this is the way it is.That you have found people that you feel comfortable and peacful when you are in their company which these friends did not provide.I guess, tell them life is all about changes and if seasons can change so can you and you have in a way that they do not approve but that is not your problem.You are here to make yourself happy and you have.
Now, if they threaten you that they will tell others (don't be surprised they probably could) then tell them this proves that you really are not my friend to begin with and also that you are not scared.We all make mistakes and you are not ashamed of admitting it as long as you are not repeating it.But make sure that when you meet the right guy, do let him know your past.I know SP said that forget the past and you probably will but this evil world might keep bringing it up, but eventually after 5,10,15 years it will be behind you.Just stick to the truth and do not confess too much and talk more that asked for except to your future man (there is one for you believe me).Especially, you did not do anything wrong, just talked.
Regarding this guy calling you after being married, it is not your problem that he is not happy and use the same strategy as above and slowoly he will stop calling you.You have to be the filter and as long as you keep let things flow through they will and your soul will not be peaceful.You might feel haunted by your past but that is your feeling and thank God that it ended where it ended and pray .(I think God was already there with you to protect you when you were with this guy, else he could have done worst(rape you or so)to you and you would not have known what to do).So, feel blessed and keep moving on.
Lovingly
A caring person.