Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Please Help
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Saturday, 3/16/2002 10:59 PM MDT

Hello, from reading other postings on the youth forum I have learned that it is not right to kiss a person before he or she is your spouse. I also understand that in the sikh religion everyone should be considered as a brother or sister except for your spouse. I have a boyfriend. I know this might not be approved of as i am only 17 and you probably think that i am likely to grow apart from him and not spend my entire life with him. However, I disagree. I am positive that we will be together forever. We have a strong reltionship based on trust and mutual respect. Its not based on lust. We truly love each other. We have tried to avoid getting physically involved i don't mean sex, absolutely not. Both of us understand that sex is strictly forbidden before marriage but we were just curious about kissing. I mean if we know we will be together why can't we kiss? Why is it a sin then to kiss if we know that we will be toghether forever. It is simply a way of expressing our love. I mean we don't

want to kiss all the time but once in a while i think it would be nice. We

also go to the ghadwara together and do sava, this has also helped us a lot.
It helps us both feel closer to god and it deepens our love. So i was just wondering would it really be wrong for us to kiss once in a while if we are truly in love?
Thanks in Advance

(REPLY) I'm sure you love being in love. At 17 it's a powerful feeling! I'm wondering when/if you're going to be engaged? If you're so sure you're going to be together forever and ever, then why aren't you engaged? Another question is, what kind of kissing are you talking about? There are many degrees of kissing, from a peck on the cheek to a passionate - you know what I mean -- really involved and intense mouth to mouth! That kind of kissing stimulates - especially in the male, the need for a sexual outlet. It's kind of playing with fire. It's not that it's "wrong" to kiss, it's just not the right time for it yet. Passionate kissing is simply not advisable until you're really ready for more. That's the practical reason why Sikh girls and boys need to relate as brother and sister until they are married -- because otherwise the powerful emotions just escalate and sometimes get you into a situation that has gone too far. I'm glad you love each other, and I hope that you can someday totally enjoy kissing -- especially when you hear the wordss "I pronounce you man and wife." Blessings, SP