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Summary of Question:	Bad Luck
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 7/30/2003 10:33 AM MDT

I sent this again if incase i printed my email address incorectly

Guru fateh,
Dear Khalsa jis
I am very much impressed by your efforts at the youth forum. Your knowledge really amazes me. You r doing a great job. Keep it up.
I wanted to discuss the Bad luck that masturbation has brought to my life.
But before that I would like to tell you what I am feeling these days
I am 22 and am a student. Before last year I regularly used to trim my beard and still carried the same hipocracy of fighting for my religion even if somebody said only a word against it. But thanks to my elder brother I stopped trimming sin and partook amrit. It was a divine moment for me when he was explaining me what our gurus have done for us and how shameful it is that we are breaking our Sikhism even for the smallest and most ridiculous reasons. I really felt ashamed and partook amrit
But even before this I always asked people regarding masturbation and got a reply that “NO masturbating cannot break your amrit as it is a natural phenomena as sleeping is so don’t worry.” ARE THOSE PEOPLE RIGHT????
I also was not knowing the bani paths but my brothers sole word that its guru whose makes you do it and nothing is in your hands so take it easy.” and that was it. I started reciting the bani before eating any thing on the day My faith in guru ji was on a high. I started getting involved in many religios activites and those were happy days until there came a period when every thing changed.
I always wanted to be an honest guy and so even while doing small deeds I used to practise honesty and speaking the truth .During my exminations I use to leave my path with a view that I have to fulfill my duties to the best of my capabilities. Was that a wrond decision ;becoz I always got very little time even for food during m exams so I compromised on paths. Was I correct On my decision?????.
Another habit although bad went out of my system was that of masturbating .I never let my concentration slip and not masturbated for the duration of my examinations but some times the discipline did break. I had a view that guru ji wont like it and he will not come to my help and with what face will I ask for his help and still have the view that doing path after masturbating is of no use. AM I correct????????
So now when I do masturbate I really start to feel guilty and INSECURED and so due to my notion that now path wont do me any good ,I don’t do path .Now the result is that masturbating is increasing and system of bani has completely got out from my life and I really regret it.
Coming Back to the examinations inspite of all that hard work the next day on my examination I was not able to do my papers well and the final result resulted in a failure in a few subjects which completely have changed my life as it is now very difficult for me to get a job as against the people whom I am competing with are of really high caliber and have passed the subjects by fair or unfair means. The real problem is that had I resorted to those means I would have cleared those subjects on the first attempt and got myself pretty safe as far as a job goes. Now I don’t know what will happen MY parents have a huge belief and expectations from me.After so many years of hardwork I find myself admist a place where I see no hope. Although my knowledge is better than some of those who have passed the subjects I am not going to fulfill my parents expectations and frankly speaking these are not over expectations. I really breakdown into tears as I am now while writing this letter to you when I think of the future ; what will happen ; where will I get a job. How will I help my family who has been waiting for me to earn as soon as possible so that I can support my dad who is too old to work now . I have even considered the option of working while I learn but that did not work out due to some problems. I had topped the university before I got onto this college but now, after my Failures I am considered as a low capability candidate by my mates and my professors. I have lost all my confidence. My mother always tries to infill some confidence in me but to no avail. Yes Working hard and coming back to form is O.K but that happens when there is even a little hope and you work had for that hope but I don’t see any hope. Now my Time table of the day means very little for going to gurudwara, least reciting of bani and to be honest my faith in Guruji, MY beloved Guruji is fading away. PLZ try and restore it for me. I wanted to know why these tough times on me ,,,, are this becoz of me adopting the policy of honesty and getting defeated; or are these becoz of masturbations that I do ,that r not liked my Guruji as he specifically said that “JAB EH GAYEN BEEPRAN KI REET;;; MAIN NA KAROON INKI PARTEET” Am I getting the punishment becoz I took amrit and still continue to masturbate.????
If that is the reason then why does guruji not come to my help even when I continue
asking for strength for stopping to masturbate ;If that is the case then that natural phenomena should not have been inculcated in our bodies…
I know that the best way out is reciting bani but I have to study extra due to my earlier failures so there is no time to recite bani. And what ever time there is now goes in to complete wastage due to my fading Faith as discussed above.
It has been 3months without a single reciting of bani.
Is guruji that strict; I can still not promise him to stop masturbating completely
What should I do ????….
My mother will have to listen to so many taunts from my relatives as she was the only one who supported me for my studies. The surly relatives would let me and my mother live if I don’t get a good salary immediately after my course is completed.There is still a year left to my course fulfillment. I am that down at the moment that I don’t even Expect a miracle….
Plz reply me at the earliest. I am completely down wth lack of faith on almighty, self belief. I think I am a loser….

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REPLY
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Sat Sri Akal,

I don't think you're a loser at all, in fact, from you've written, I really respect you. Why? Because you have the understanding that Gurbani is the answer. You have the understanding that doing paath and reciting bani is the way to eternal bliss. The Guruji says,

"aisee math dheejai maerae t(h)aakur sadhaa sadhaa thudhh dhhiaaee"
--> Bless me with such understanding, O my Lord and Master, that I may forever and ever meditate on You. (pg 673).

You have this understanding which the vast majority of us do not. Please do not let your Faith in Waheguru fade.

To answer your questions, no, Guruji is not that strict. There is no rule which says "do not masturbate". You must do only what your understanding tells you to do. If your understanding is that you must not masturbate, then don't. Remember that it will take time to reach your goals. Don't feel guilty that the Guruji is not looking out for you, Waheguru is always doing what is best for you. If you believe that masturbating is wrong and that you should stop so that you can start reciting bani again, then by all means listen to yourself! But don't let other people tell you what is right or wrong, do your naam simran and paath and you will gain your own understanding of what is right and wrong.

I understand the time pressures in college and that you don't get enough time to paath. Please understand that Waheguru isn't going to "punish" you if you don't have time to sit and do paath. You know, walking to class and reciting "waheguru, waheguru" in your mind or under your breath is also naam simran. Thinking about waheguru while you go about your daily routine is naam simran. Looking at others and seeing waheguru, doing good deeds, working honestly and to the best of your abilities, that is naam simran.

I see great hope in you. Waheguru has blessed you with a brother who put you on the right path. Waheguru has blessed you with the understanding of the importance of reciting bani. Have hope that Waheguru has blessed you with an awesome future.

I'm going to end with another quote from the SGGS:
"sathagur saev kharach har baadhhahu math jaanahu aaj k kaalhee"
--> Let your service to the True Guru be your supplies on the Lord's Path; pack them up, and don't think of today or tomorrow. (pg 667)

This means that don't worry too much about the future, Waheguru will take care of it FOR YOU. Have Faith in Waheguru, recite bani, work hard, and the future will be set for you.

Gur Fateh,
HSD