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Summary of Question:	Sikhs And Whites In Relationships
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 7/11/2003 2:12 PM MDT

Hi. I have been dating a wonderful Sikh boy for the past 7 months, and we share a lot of things together. Our intirests are almost identical and we are able to sit and talk for hours on end without becoming bored. I love him very much, and my family does too. Now, when it comes to his family, that's where the story turns. I am a white girl, and I've already read the previous questions that people have posted on sikhs and whites in relationships. I to this day have not met his parents only because they believe that he should date and eventually marry a nice sikh girl. I have done much reading on Sikhism and happen to agree with all the beliefs and values of that more than my religion. I've been studying and whatever else possible to get a greater understanding as to their way of life, belief, and culture. My only question is, what can I do about his parents? I have no problem with being open to his religion and would like for his parents not to hate me or disagree with him dating me in any way. My boyfriend says that his parents don't agree with him dating a white girl because they dont like our society today and the way that our culture works nowadays, and i can't blame them because the more i look at the westernized cultures, the more embarassed i am to say that i am a part of it. I want his parents to be able to see that I'm not like every other white girl and I want them to be able to see that I do care about their son more than anything. I've seriously been considering converting to sikhism as well. What can I do to make this better for his parents and us? I'm really lost and I would really appreciate any help that anyone could give me. Maybe a better understanding as well.

Thank You,
Noelle

(REPLY) Sat Nam. You may never get his parents approval and acceptance, but possibly, just possibly, if you sincerely decide you want to live your life as a Sikh woman (not just to "get" this boy for your husband, but because your soul recognizes this to be your path, and Sikh values and way of worship suits you) then if you were to take Amrit, pledge to live as a Sikh, and wear bana -- then maybe, just maybe it might work! Think about it. It's a lifetime commitment. Remember marriage is not a love affair, and most important would be the way you plan to raise your children, and the kind of example you, as the mother, the first "teacher" would provide. Are you ready to provide that? Blessings!