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Summary of Question:	Brother Giving Respect
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Thursday, 7/25/2002 8:14 PM MDT

hi, I have a major situation here. Im 16 years old, and the "youngest" child. We have grown up without a father, who left us, left me before i was even born. I have two older bro's and an older sis. Just recently, we met our father. Although he has given child support, which was still not enough, i am very disappointed in him. He doesn't believe im his kid! When our grandpa set up the meeting to meet him, he refused to come at first. He did come tho, with his wife and kids. He said VERY rude things, which got me real mad, but got my brother even madder, and he charged after him. He beat up our dad, and he did a very good job, but my bro got arrested, and he is known to the police. Well, my father's son, who is two years younger than me, said a lot of rude things, about me my family and my future. I was just wondering, if he (the lil boy) doesnt even know who the hell i am, y does he have to say all of this sh*t to me. Shouldnt our father take responsibility in teaching his kids some value, and in taking care of us? Why would a father get his OWN son arrested, when he had lots to do about it too? I'm very depressed right now, and would like it if u would get back to me as soon as possible, thanks

(REPLY) Sat Nam. It's understandable that you're hurt and angry, and depressed. It is very sad that your "father" has behaved in such a cruel way. I don't consider him your father at all! Unfortunately, there are men in the world who lack the compassion and kindness that a real father needs to deserve to be a father! Just because this man's semen helped form your human form, doesn't really make him someone that you want to relate to as your father. If I were you, I would pray that God give him wisdom, and then move on with your life and forget about him. Remember, you belong to God. God lives and breathes in you -- always. As Sikhs one of the greatest opportunities we have is to take Amrit, and in a sense be "reborn" -- for Amrit is a baptism through which we are reborn. You accept Guru Gobind Singh as your father, and Mata Sahib Kaur Devi as your mother! Earthly relatives are people with whom we have karma to work out for a few years in this lifetime, but our Divine parents are there forever! Even if you are not ready to take Amrit, you can still relate to Guru Gobind Singh as your father, and look to see what qualities he manifested, what things made him great, and determine to live up to that image! Try to meditate every day, and feel the presence of the Guru with you! By the way, a wise man once said, "If you see someone doing something wonderful, be grateful to God, and bless that person. If you see someone doing something terrible, be grateful to god that it's not you doing it (!) and bless that person." Another wise saying is, "those who live in the past have no future." Decide how you want to live your life, and then work toward that goal. You have a world of opportunity ahead of you, don't spoil it by carrying the baggage of the past. yesterday is gone. May God and Guru bless you in all ways, always. SP