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Summary of Question:	Matrimonial Dispute.
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Sunday, 3/11/2001 11:01 PM MDT

Sat sri Akal,

I am 28 yrs old married on 29th oct,1999 with Dr. Raman at hoshirpur.but due to their malafied treatment i shifted over to chandigarh on 2nd june 2000.Now i am living with my parents only fron the last 10 months.He apologised me so many times but i don't have faith on him.But on the other side i don't want to live as divorcee.He is very money minded and cruel person. Now i left everything on satguru.I regularly do shri Sukhnmani sahib bot not able to concentrate.I always prey for death after path.Iam very depressed please help me .please for God sake.i shall be always obliged to YOU.
Thanks.
Bhaguru ji ka kalsa Bhaguru ji ki phathe.
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REPLY
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Greetings in the Name of God, the light of every soul and in the name of Guru, the light of every Sikh. Thank you for writing and sharing your question. I am praying for a resolution to your so that you may truly experience the peace you deserve and pray for daily in Sukhmani. I am not certain what you mean by 'malafied treatment' but if you have been abused, especially if you have been physiacally abused, I am deeply grateful to God and Guru that you have removed yourself from that situation. I pray you will remain in safety, and you are most wise to know that 'promises' do not guarantee the abuse will end - usually it is a guarantee it will continue. (I will finish later or someone else is welcome to continue.) Gurumeet Kaur Khalsa

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SECOND REPLY
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Guru tells us in Rehiras that "pain is the remedy, pleasure is the disease". It is sometimes hard to accept the pain and challenges that God and Guru put before us, but usually what is given to us we can handle and learn from. Life is not being married or being divorced. Nothing is forever. You could have had a wonderful husband who got killed in an automobile accident and you could be in a worse position with his family as a widow! There is a lot of joy to find in life now and it is your right to be happy.
To me it looks like life with a cruel person is a lot worse than being divorced. This is the time for you to give your head to the Guru and at the same time build your life in practical ways. If you haven't already done so, finish your education. Chandigarh is a modern city with many opportunities for women. It might take extra strength, but if you set your mind to it you can do it.
If you feel there is a chance with your husband, sit down with a professional third person to work out the issues you have.
In any case start building your life and when and if you get married again it should be to someone who deserves to be married to you.
ssk