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Summary of Question:Krodh And Swearing To God
Date Posted:Saturday, 2/24/2001 11:00 AM MST


I've searched for previous answers to the issue of anger...i still need help.

I have a SERIOUS anger problem thats has affected my family seriously. I'm a 22 yr old british 'sikh' -not amritari (yet!). I get on with all my relatives, collegues and mates. When i step foot in this house its like i am anger on legs. I can not remember when i have not disrespected my parents through my bad short temper..i hate my brother for no particular reason. All brothers and sisters fight but the way i react is ridiculous. I've been like this for years....i feel guilty and i know your going to say there is no point in feeling guilty...but there is. It may be very 'catholic' to feel regret and want to repent and beg for forgivness from god...but when u do something bad..god is going to punish us if he does not forgive us...rite??

I've hated god also...thats another point i will ask you about at the end. I believe in a Baba ji (Sant)..they are the centre of my life...they brought me so close to god, through them i feel connected with waheguru ji and so privaleged. Then i went to uni..did the usual uni stuff and messed up big time..cut my hair, drunk etc etc. To tell u the truth when i did it i knew it was ring and new god was watching me but felt it had to be done for me to fit in. Since then My faith has got less and my anger has multiplied. i have not spoken to my mum in a week (she got my brother to beat me up because i was mouthing off at her for a reason i can't remember) i hated her and him (theyv'e done it before), and for the first time i felt REAL hate for god too. Its hurt just thinking how awafull i was to waheguru ji..i feel like such a ungratfull b***h. Although i don't believe in physical violence I think i deserved to be hit but at the time it felt it was unfair and felt sorry for myself.

Point is I want to change, i can't. I can't go and drink cold water in the middle of a fight to cool me down its not practical!! i've tried to divert my attention towards waheguru or just saying/thinking waheguru..that does not work either it lasts about a second!!! I have said the most hurtfull things to the person that brought me into this world and brought me up..i feel bad yeah...but thats not the point. How do i stop?? I want to stop channeling all this anger energy and hurting my family and me. I've cried so much i'm tired...i'm tired of crying. tired of asking god to help me stop being so angry because it hasn't really worked so far...

Another thing...i have said/thought awfull things about the heat of the moment..blamed him for all sorts..i know i was wrong. I don't want him to hate me and i derserve to be punished but am scared to be...instead of being of punished for disrespecting god is there anything i can do to make up for my mistake...i do love god...waheguru ji i do love u know that...someone help..

> so 2 things: anger and saying bad stuff to god..really bad stuff.

this emails getting way too long (sorry)...will anybody help me..please...

Waheguru ji ka khalsa whaeguru ji ki fateh


Greetings in the Name of God, the Light of every soul, and in the Name of Guru, the Light of every Sikh. Thank you for writing to the Sikhnet Youth Q&A Forum and sharing your heart and soul. As you requested, your name will not be posted. I hope you will find time to go and sit in the Gurdwara, or at least in a quiet space in your home each day to meditate. Set aside 11 minutes a day to start. Meditating each day will give you power over your emotions and thoughts so they serve you (as they were meant to) instead of you being a slave your mind and emotions - as in anger. Recite the Mul Mantra from Japji: Ek Ong Kar Sat Nam Karta Purkh Nirbao Nirvair Akal Murat Ajooni Saybang Gur Prashad Jap Ad Sach Jugad Sach Habay Sach Nanak Hosee Bi Sach. Reciting this mantra will change your destiny and give you grace, dignity and divinity in your actions. Your have allowed your thoughts and emotions to take over control of your behavior and actions. That is why you feel 'out of control'. By sitting still in meditation eac
h day you will have the power to connect with your own soul and the Shabd Guru within you to guide you. Guruji teaches us that we are not this body, this mind or our emotions. They are gifts we have been given to serve us, but allowing them to control our behavior, wild and out of control, will bring us pain and sorrow. When you sit down to meditate it is important that you make your spine as straight as possible and breathe very long and deep. Practice breathing long and deep each waking moment of your life to avoid losing control of your actions. You will notice that when you become angry your breath is short, fast and shallow. The more you practice breathing long and deep, the less likely you will be to lose control of your emotions and behavior to anger. It is important to process your experiences in meditation so anger does not fester inside of you ready to explode. While you are meditating on the Mul Mantra many thoughts will come to your mind. Allow your thoughts to process by viewing them as if on a t
elevision screen, and keep repeating the Mul Mantra. All of your experiences were given to you so that you could learn from them. Sometimes the lessons are painful, but always we gain something from the experience. Practice viewing your thoughts and experiences in this way, with gratitude for what you have gained, and keep repeating the Mul Mantra. You will discover in this process that by your own FREE WILL you make the choice each moment of your life to listen to your breath, to listen to the divine guidance of the Shabd Guru within you; or to be a SLAVE to your thoughts, riding the roller coaster of the monkey mind and out of control emotions and behavior. Choose to make your mind your servant - not the other way around. Following is a second meditation you can do to help heal the emotional wounds you have experienced and inflicted on others from your anger. It is called the Forgiveness Meditation:


Sitting in easy pose, with long deep breathing, recite silently to yourself:
Continue for 3 minutes.

"I forgive everyone (or specific person or persons) for everything they have ever done to hurt me."

Sitting in easy pose, with long deep breathing, recite silently to yourself:
Continue for 3 minutes.

"I ask for and receive forgiveness for everything I have ever done to hurt others (or specific person or persons)."

Lying on your back in corpse pose, with long deep breathing, recite silently to yourself:
Continue for 5 minutes

"I forgive myself for everything I have ever done to hurt others (or specific person or persons)."

While doing this meditation, you will gradually begin to remember incidents in your life, even those you have buried in your subconscious. You will recall incidents in which you were hurt and incidents in which you hurt others. As you recall these experiences, observe them as neutrally as possible, understand the lessons to you gained from the experience - no matter how painful, and then let the emotions you have held inside be released, let them go. We forgive but do not forget - so we remember the lessons and may teach others in the future.

The act of forgiveness is so powerful, that time and space do not matter when you forgive another or ask for forgiveness from another. You will receive forgiveness by asking, and you can release your own anger, fears and resentment when you extend your forgiveness to another, and they shall also be absolved. Only humans can forgive each other - even God cannot - the law of karma prevails unless we invoke our power to forgive each other and forgive ourselves.

In the 3rd part of the meditation, fill yourself with light and love as you forgive yourself for everything.

In answer to your question about who we are, we are Sikhs of the Guru, dedicated to sharing the Guru's message to everyone who is drawn to the Gurus Light. We have created this website so that Sikhs everywhere would have the opportunity to unite in this virtual community and share experiences, so we all expand and grow in Guru's wisdom and understanding, and spread the light of the Guru throughout the earth.

May God and Guru ever bless and guide your way on. Humbly yours, Gurumeet Kaur Khalsa

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