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Summary of Question:	Dead End
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Sunday, 4/05/2009 11:14 PM MDT

Sat sri akal

I don't know where to start, i just can't get myself together, everytime i put a foot forward, i fall into the same loop. i will ended up where i started. i'm not getting anywhere in life. I do sewa and path, nothing is working for me, feels like i've been blocked from all sides.
i am highly educated, and i work in a job that should be of high school graduate, with very little salary. My communication skills are zero. I been doing kundalini yoga past 2 years, with the hope it will open me up. Nothings happening. Almost 40 now, unmarried. No prospects. Couple prospects that i had never work out. I still hope to get married and have kids.
I am the sad story of my family. My family care very much for me, they been doing everything they can, path etc to help me, nothing is working. one time in my life i was leaving with some member of my family, who disliked me for no reasons. Lots of cursings and back stabbings went on behind my back, just out of jealousy. one member of my family is believed to have an evil eye/evil tounge, (whatever that means) as an educated person, i never believed in this kind of things. Consciously, i've never done anything bad in my life. I just can't make any reasons out of why my life is going nowhere.

Whoever can shed some lights into this, i will be grateful always.
Thank you

<<<<< REPLY >>>>>

Sat Siri Akal!

Each moment is new. Each moment is now. The past is gone. If you are still starring in the movie for which your parents wrote the script, then you have chosen (consciously or unconsciously) to do so. The simple question is what do you want to do NOW?

Okay... Just do it.

Your relationship with your Guru is yours alone. It is between you and Guru Ji. You have to understand it. You have to deepen it. You have to experience it.... Now.

Otherwise all is fantasy, guilt, projection, rationalization and rejection. Sympathy and apathy. Hoping and moping.

The only carefree life is the life of complete surrender to Guru Ji. Otherwise, you will find it to be not so carefree... just a fantasy on your part.

Forget about the past. Let it all go. Look in the mirror. No.... really look... deep into your own eyes. Keep looking. Stop thinking.

Who do you see in the mirror?

The time is now. Stop living in your mind and start living in your heart.

Offer your cares to Maharaj Ji and consciously lay them at His feet. Tell Him, "I do not want this any more. It is Yours. I am giving it to you,"

Let it go. You are not a victim.

In the Name of the Guru, the Light of every Sikh, and the Holy Nam which holds the world.

humbly, ......G