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Summary of Question:	Life
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 6/10/2002 3:49 PM MDT

Hi there,

I am widow, was married for 2 months when my husband passed away.
was six years old when my dad passed away. I have seen so many
deaths in my life of all my grandparents and near and dear ones.
But nothing effected me so much as my husbands death. I had fallen truely in love with him. I loved and cared for him like no other which even he and people around him agreed. I was the happiest woman. Then why have i been given so much pain. He hasnt ever left my thoughts for a single day. After seeing all this i really question why are we born to live. we live and die and then repeat the same process again and again. why? why are we here on this earth? When most of us dont even know the purpose of our stay here. we just follow our daily routine and make our way to the graves.
What is life? People say life is a gift, if it is why is there so much pain and sorrow in this world and in my heart?
I feel so guilty even looking at a man. does this mean i wud never ever be able to love someone again when i actually thrive on love. Is this natural. is it wrong to think that i wud like to be with someone else.
I am 25 but i am very tired of my life already please direct me if possible.

thanks
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Reply
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Dear one,

It is very hard to have loved and to have lost the physical presence of your love. Some people loose their loves through death, as you have, while others can loose their love through betrayal.

You are correct in saying that life is filled with challenges. But choosing to say that these challenges are all pain, is your perception. Pain is a feeling. Feelings are food for the mind and create doubt as well as uncertainty and anger.

The Siri Guru Granth Sahib is the 'destroyer of pain and sorrow'. When we are confronted with circumstances that we cannot change, we are seeing the 'play of the Infinite'. We are all subject to the will of God. God is the Doer of all and the Great Beloved of all too! It is best not to question 'why' this has happened. What has happened is your gift. At least you have loved. Some people never have a love.

When you feel the pain of a great loss such as you have had with the departure of your husband, it is good to go to the Guru to find comfort. You can start a Sehej Path in your home. I suggest that you use an English Guru translation so you can fully understand all the words.

Also, you can daily take a morning Hukam(vaak) and an evening Hukam and see how the Guru loves you and guides you. Let the Guru fill the vacancy in your life. Sweet daughter, do not fill your life with despair and misery. See how God and Guru are your True beloved. God will bring another husband and companion to you. Just now, you must accept this challenge and move forward as a beautiful daughter of the Guru. Let Guru guide you in mastery and victory. Recite the shabd: "Mangala Saaj Bahi-aa, Prabh Apanaa gai-aa Raam..............". This shabd is on pg. 598 of the Amrit Kirtan and is on pg.845 of the SGGS. It will bring you happiness and much love. Just see how this comes about, as God truely loves and cherishes you and will care for all your needs.

Keep up and find this blessing in your life!
SKKKK