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Summary of Question:	Marrage And Destiny
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 5/08/2001 9:25 PM MDT

Sat Sri Akal. I am a 26 year sikh girl living abroad and i recently got married to a sikh man also my age about 6 months ago. Before we got married we both felt happy with each other. He said to me that he found every quality that he was looking for in his wife and that i was a dream come true for him. I had told him that i will never ask anything of him except to care and love me for as long as we shall live. Both out parents agreed and were happy for us to get married. We both went to the gurduwara before our wedding and asked the granthi to explain the meanings of the lavan to us. We had our wedding in the gurduwara and all the ceremonies were performed. I do my paath's every day in the morning and evening and i am devoted to learning more about my religion. I believe in respecting everyone, being humble and caring for all mankind wheather rich or poor.

However it has been 6 months now and my husband has told me that he no longer has feelings for me and that he has made a mistake in marrying me and says that he doesnot want to be with me any more and brings up excuses and says that we are not compatible anymore. He also does not speak to me and treats me like dirt now

This has hurt me a lot now especially when i belive so much in god and god is the one who brought us together and we got married with the guru's grace. I am very confused and don't know what to do and feel like a failure. But i still love and care for my husband and his family. How can one human being do and treat some one else like that with out a reason. I have allways treated him and his family with the highest respect. I still do my paaths everyday but i feel like there is no point in living when some one treats you so bad.

Please advice.
WGJK
WGJF

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REPLY
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I'm very sorry you are in your present unhappy marriage situation. But remember this is the 21st Century. You can do something about it. First, I would go to my husband and ask him what he wants to do? Does he want to work out the marriage, or does he want a divorce? If he wants to work it out, I would seek marriage counseling wirh a trained marriage counselor. If he is not willing to work it out, than get a divorce now, before you have children. Let him go on with his life, and you go on with yours. He broke his commitment to God and Guru, not you. There will be a good husband for you, who appreciates you for who you are, who appreciates your devotion and loyalty. Continue to read your Nitnem and choose a mantra to recite in your head all through the day, like the Mulhmantra...what ever has meaning to you. Use this time of adversity to strengthen your relationship to the Guru, your real Beloved anyway. May Guru guide you through this time.