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Summary of Question:	Fear Of Being Touched.
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Monday, 6/24/2002 10:05 AM MDT

I am a 15 year old girl

All my friends at school are non-Sikhs and many do not believe in God so in many respects can not relate to my beliefs as a Sikh although they do respect them.
I have a problem. There are some boys at school who touch my head etcetra in a completely friendly way and because of the way I have been bought up I have reaction to pull away immediately.
The thing is this reaction is now starting to show around my girlfriends as even when they touch my shoulder I pull away.
I have never been an extremely affectionate person even around family and now my friends are starting to comment about me having a phobia about people touching me and it will affect my future life.
I have read in one response dated 23/05/02 entitled "problems at Uni" that it was important to not allow any Disrepct so to seem a "graceful woman - not just some "girl" " and so I assume that I should not allow boys touch my head etcetra. But is friendly contact allowed between girlfriends.
I would be grateful if you could answer this.
Sorry 4 the long email
(REPLY) A casual touch on the shoulder from another girl shouldn't be a problem. It may be that you have become super-sensitive to physical contact because of trying to maintain your distance from the boys -(who should not be touching you!) Girls sometimes can hug each other for some special reason, and that shouldn't bother you either. It is difficult for you because your family is not demonstrative, and that has given you a habit to avoid physical signs of affection and friendship. Try to relax, and feel the kindness from your friends, and pray for the Guru to guide you in this area. Blessings with love, SP