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Summary of Question:	Sikhs-Manmukh Vs. Gursikh
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 5/20/2003 6:21 AM MDT

I am proud to be a member of this great community, which is, virtually spread all over the world. With the blessings of Akkal Purak/hard work/commitment to work and clean hearted, we are, in my opinion, the most propersous generation in the world.

I had to cut my hairs in 1984 under some compelling circustances. Today, I myself feel that I am Manmukh. Our preacher viz. Ragis, Stage Speakers and others are, sometimes used very harsh/humiliating/hard languages to denounce such type of sins. Even my close relatives(my brother-in -law as well as my sister-in -law) used to humilate me for my act. And now the things are that both the sons of my above mentioned relatives are settled abroad and doing all type of nuisance such as clean shaven, eating beef etc. etc. and now the same my close relatives are enjoying on their money.
My anxiety is that :i) Concept of 'Maryada' has comes in the sikh religion at the time & behest of our tenth Guru Saheb. Does it means that prior to this all may be termed as 'manmukh'? ii)is not possible for our preacher to preach and guide the people like me in a healing way ? and, what should I do to realise my relatives about the sufferings I got from them for the act, which I, like so many other sikhs had to do under those horrible days. Now, they are now enjoying every thing with the earnings of their sons who have done the same sins to make their life more levish & enjoyable.

All the circumstances leads me to confusion & demorlisations, which I am not able to explain

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REPLY
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Sat Siri Akaal. Of course you feel demoralized. You were judged so harshly, but isn't it convenient that your relatives' children are abroad and not here to be judged the same? Frankly, it seems you should ask your relatives to apologize for being so harsh on you for cutting your hair when their own sons have done the same. I have seen that in close communities in India, one who breaks the mold is treated harshly, but the ones who break the mold ELSEWHERE are not, because they are not physically in the same space. But if you cannot ask for this apology, please work to forgive in your heart their meanness. It's all in the past, and you are having trouble moving on from this. When you have fully forgiven them, you will feel clear and not as demoralized and their harshness towards you back then will not matter so much.

Please chant Naam Simran daily to help attain neutral mind and peace in your heart. Sikh speakers/ragis/others are concerned about the face of Sikhi and they do not want people to cut their hair. They go about it, however, by saying someone is BAD to cut their hair. This is just not true. No one is bad for this; 'bad' is a judgement that is God's alone. Your relationship to GURU is your own. No ONE can see in your heart or know how you feel about Guru, and having kesh or not is no kind of definitive way to tell how someone feels about Sikhi. YES, there are plenty of ways to preach that unite people and remind us all that we are EQUAL in the eyes of Waheguru: keshdhari or not, Muslim or Sikh, Indian or American. 10th Master Guru Gobind Singh gave us the rehit as a tool for disciplining ourselves, for reminding us of who we are and what our purpose is (to serve others). Manmukh is one who cares not for God & Guru, and who spends his/her life focusing on status and class and money: on maya. Gurmukh is one who knows that Guru guides his/her life always, and honors Guru daily through regular paath and naam simran. Manmukh is not strictly defined as one who does not look Sikh. I have met many amritdhari/keshdhari Sikhs who seem to have forgotten God & Guru, and just as many people who are not amritdhari whose faith and discipline is an inspiration. Be your own inspiration. Act amritdhari in your heart and mind, and consider yourself Gurmukh, one whose face is TOWARDS the Guru and who trusts Guru to guide you.
Guru ang sang,
-DKK