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Summary of Question:	Help
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Monday, 8/03/2009 6:04 PM MDT

okay. First, I'm a fifteen year old woman, to clear that up. I searched this great forum for a lot of questions and in a retrospect, it helped me a lot, but now I have a new problem. I want to become a full Sikh and still be able to function as a leading individual who is active in making a difference in this world. I want to study at the highest level, work in discovering new cures, medicines, I'm a painter and crafter so I want to make everything my hands allow me. I also write fiction, and would like to incorporate lessons on discovering God without being too religions...etc.

My problem is, now that I have all these answers, I'm not sure what to do with the ones that vary. One thing I can't grasp is jewelery. I wear and make a lot of jewelry, and it's not to attract people, surely, but I think it adds to my personal self-esteem and overall appearance. No, I don't think I'm ugly, and sometimes, in the simplest of garments, I look perfectly fine. Perhaps I'm vain? I feel the same way about my hair: it's long and I stopped trimming it a while ago. I feel better about that, it's very beautiful...

My biggest question is, what exactly is wrong? My biggest fear is being reincarnated and not being able to join God. I want to be a full Sikh, but I still like to wear earrings and jewelery for my own content. Can I still fulfill this without losing some of my self interests? I always thought that what I did was for the betterment of people and I do whatever I can to make others lives better. :)

Here's a sum of questions that I would like some answers to:

1) Can I have high self-esteem including wearing jewelery, fancy punjabi suits, etc? [I don't wear make up or shave anymore because I believe in inner beauty.]

2) If I wear jewelery, earrings, are my chances of meeting God cut?

3) Can I study and advance academically to any level I want? [Writing this question seems ridiculous to me now that I see it, but...still.]

4) Can I look in the mirror and feel good about myself? How can I stop being too vain about looks? I LOVE natural beauty.

5) I feel the need to support my Punjabi heritage. Is it alright to keep the tradition of wearing jewelry at weddings and occasionally, alive? Bhangra, also? I also like fancy punjabi suits but I try very hard not to show off when complimented. Is that alright?

6)I like to write fiction. I try to incorporate my values into my writing. Is reading or writing fiction---fantasy or magic--- against Sikhi? I always try to say to myself before writing, "God, please let me write this. I give this task to you."

7) Sorry for all these questions, so here's the last one: How do you know what's right or wrong when you're trying to lead a good life? Is it a gut instinct?

Thank you infinity times for your replies! More than one would be nice! God bless you and everything that exists! :):) A lot of people have been scaring me and giving me varied answers [mainly relatives and old people] so I hope you can ease my mind. I worry constantly if I'm doing anything right or I'm just being like the rest of the un-devoted ones out there. thanks again!!!!

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reply
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I think you are suffering from the very demeaning place women in Punjab culture often take.

Being beautiful and radiant woman is not the same as being sexy and suggesting passion.

Let me explainfirst that you need a foundation of self respect. Woman are powerful but her true power is not through control and being outward. Her power is in her grace and her being able to access her internal wisdom to complement and guide the generations. We do not have many of these examples in media nor in Sikhee.

For you, build your foundation of self respect by removing sensuality in your dress and in your attire in your words and in your actions. Substitute sensitivity where you see sensuality. You will find Infiinity through sensitivity. This is your gift. You are really on track.
-Jewelry is FINE!!!
-beuatiful clothes are fine....you are decorating and embellishing your Divine self.
-look in the mirror and love your face...God created it and it is the face of God.
-be thankful to God for all these gifts. Dancing Bangara is GREAT exercise and it is joyful when you are NOT drunk on alcohol. I so love to celebrate Wahe Guru in the joy of dancing.
-write and uplift and insprire through your writings. You sound wonderfully inspired and totally on track.
-develop your daily mediation so your mind is guided to your internal guide rather than your EGO.
Meditate daily and read Sukhmani Sahib in english or Jap Ji in English after your path so your mind can be guided and your intuition will be opened. God bless you sweet one, SK