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|Is Going To Gurudwara Not Right ?
|Wednesday, 3/25/2009 5:47 PM MDT
WAHEGURU JI KI FATEH
I have a question about going to Gurudwara? Due to problems in my life (I finished my degree in Engineering last year in November but I still haven't got a job and other issues), I go to gurudwara as I get peace and feel relaxed there. I go to gurudwara every morning (7-8:30)am and every night (7-9)pm. But my dad is very much against me going to gurudrawa. He says, kirat is the what Guru Nanak told us to, what is the point going and sitting there like a pagal.It is for old (buddaya waste), who have no work to do, they go there sit there whole day and eat. He says gurugware these days as places of making money nothing more, things like never trust a baba( one who is baptised sikh). I want to mention, I am a girl and my dad cuts his beard and hair but wears a turban. Sometimes I feel like I don't even like him, why did god gave me a dad like him, sometimes I think I hate him. yESTERDAY, I went to gurudwara to do path (role laen) from 7-8, then listened kirtan till 8:30 and after langar came home at 9pm. He got so angry when I got home, I didn't say a single word to him. I came straight to my room, started doing SUKHMANI Sahib PATH and cried so much. I do sewa in gurudwara in sundays from 7 to 11, so its like I spend 6-7 there on sunday's.
I don't know what to do about job, I feel like a useless piece of shit, a useless creature sometimes, and i just cry and cry. When i go to gurudwara , i just forget everything and when its time to come home i feel sad, i feel like staying there only.
My dad says people will talk if you spend long hours there, he says bad things(rapes etc) also happen there, people will talk ki this girl has nothing to do, vheli hai and will raise fingers on your character as well.
Please guide me, I need you.
Thanks so so much
My dear, I suggest that you start reciting the shabd "Bhand Jamee-ai, Bhand Nimeeai........." daily for 11 times or for 31 minutes. If you can sing it that is great! This will help with mother/father phobia.
Also, you are very blessed to have the gift to enjoy and love going to Gurdwara. I suggest that you find other young people like yourself in the Gurdwara to team up with for support. You are mature enough that your father's negativity should not make you feel so badly. Feel good inside. You are a daughter of Guru Gobind SIngh and a beautiful daughter loves to sit at the lotus feet of her true father.
Pray for him to be healed of his nastiness and let go of your concern of him. Be joyful for your gift and live in your love of your grace and in the power of your prayer. When you are radiant and confident of Guru's love and protection, then nothing can affect you!
Blessings to you, SK